What's Keeping Me (somewhat) Sane Right Now

Back in January (approximately 400 years ago, right?) I kept coming across all of these, "What's Saving My Life Right Now" or "What's Keeping Me Sane Right Now" blog posts and I loved reading them. They made me think about all the little things that help me get through the cold, dark days of winter and I thought it would be super fun to write a similar post of my own. Life with a very needy 2 month old baby meant that I never did get around to writing it and then came... March. Things started closing or getting cancelled and stay at home orders started rolling out. Life as we knew it had been completely shaken up. The idea of writing a blog post about the things keeping me sane seemed laughable at best because what was 'sane' anymore? Every day was different and I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. My focus, or what remains of my focus 5 kids later, was non existent. What was keeping me sane? Ummm...?

2 months (!!) later, and this idea of listing the things keeping me going right now feels relevant and doable again. My brain doesn't feel quite as chaotic, anxious place these days (most days anyway), and I feel equipped to articulate what all is helping me along day to day. My hope in sharing this post is that maybe somebody will find something that they themselves want to try, but at the very least I want to try to capture this surreal moment in time to look back on in the future.

So here we go. Here's some of the things helping me at least attempt to stay sane at home for 2 months and counting with 5 small children, in the midst of a global pandemic (yikes).

*A devotional and some scripture reading first thing in the AM.
I've always enjoyed a morning devotional, but I haven't had the brain space to dive into one of my favorite devotional books or a full Bible study lately. Besides the whole pandemic thing, there's the whole postpartum with a very needy baby thing. The app 'First 5' has been perfect. It's quick and to the point, and I can read it on my phone before I've even sat all the way up in bed yet.

*Minimal news reading, but still SOME news reading.
For a few years now I get an email from The Skimm every morning. Each email is a concise overview of some of the big news points from the last 24 hours. They include links to read more if you want to, but just skimming (see where their name comes from?) the email helps me feel knowledgeable without feeling overwhelmed.

And then of course there's John Krasinski's amazing YouTube weekly news show, Some Good News. He did 8 episodes and every single one made me cry. If you haven't watched them yet, GO NOW.

*Getting ready every day.
I don't mean like full hair and makeup. But I do mean changing out of my pjs into leggings and a clean shirt and brushing my hair before redoing my top knot. It's often really tempting to skip all of this, but the mornings I wash my face, brush my teeth, make my bed, get dressed, and brush my hair set me up for days where I don't feel like I'm going to fall asleep before lunch. It has proved important for the kids too. We do have the occasional pj day, but mostly they get fully dressed and I do the girls' hair.

*Music
I've been making a LOT of playlists. Show tunes especially have been clutch.

*Reading
My first thought when I knew we wouldn't be going anywhere for a while was, "I AM GOING TO GET SO MUCH READING DONE!" This wasn't immediately the case. I struggled to stay focused enough to finish books quickly. That has gotten better with time though, especially if I mix up the types of books I'm reading to keep things interesting. Without the library, I'm having to change my normal reading habits. The Libby app to borrow ebooks and audiobooks has been great, but since so many people are using it right now, most books have holds and some have LONG holds. I don't usually buy many books, but I've needed to lately. ThriftBooks has always been my go to for our books for school and books for Christmas/Birthday gifts for the kids, but I've ordered myself a few from there lately as well. Great prices for used books and they carry new releases too!

I also just joined Book of the Month, which I'm really excited about. I should actually be getting my first book tomorrow! The way it works is, you pay $14.99/month for a book credit. Each month they release 5 titles for you to choose from (and you also have the option of looking back into their archives and choosing from there). If you want to skip a month, you just click 'skip' instead of choosing a book and your credit rolls over to the next month. Since they're hardcover, fairly new releases, that's a good price! It's going to give me something super fun to look forward to, which is another big plus. Fully shameless plug here: I have a referral link for Book of the Month. If you want to try it out and go through my link, you can get your first month for $9.99 (and I get a book credit!) So here's my referral link if you want to try!

*Baking
Baking has always been soothing to me. It's also been helpful lately to make our groceries stretch since we're trying to only send James out for them twice a week. Every Wednesday (I am craving structure and making it wherever I can!) I make a batch of muffins to eat for breakfast the next 2 days. It's Wednesday as I type this and I'll be making blueberry muffins later this afternoon! I've been making a lot of bread (since James was able to score a bulk bag of flour and my mom was able to find me some yeast! Yeast and flour are like gold right now!) and baking different treats with the kids. They made brownies totally on their own a few weeks ago!

Here's one of my favorite muffin recipes

*Barely planned projects with the kids
I do love a planned craft and there are some seriously cute ones floating around the social media sphere right now, but what's been working best for us lately is me putting out the materials and letting them do what they will with them. Setting out paints, making a batch of play doh, getting out a couple pairs of scissors and some glue and then just letting them have at it. I shared on my Instagram recently that, when the kids are in a funk, water (bath, sprinkler, pool, etc), outside time, and art in any form can turn their moods around.  Which leads into my next thing...

*Outside
It's good for the kids and just as good for me. This past weekend it was warm enough to get out our sprinkler and fill up the little pool. Laying on a big blanket in the shade with Julia while the big kids played in the pool was amazing and I'm looking forward to a lot more of that in the future. The only thing missing from our house and yard that we love so much is easy access to a place for walks. I would absolutely love to be taking regular walks together right now, but the best I can do is loops around the yard without driving somewhere else. Our favorite place to hike has just reopened though. Hopefully soon we'll be able to hike a couple miles there on a day when it isn't too crowded.

*Deliberate mommy time outs
This is a little easier right now because Julia's in that super distracted nursing phase, so I have to go upstairs to my room a few times a day just to get her to eat well. But I've realized those deliberate quiet moments have been incredibly important to my sanity lately. Especially in the evening. James has been working late and Julia gets hungry right around dinnertime. By then I've been stretched pretty thin and one of the hardest parts of the day is still ahead of me. Putting dinner on the table for the big kids and taking 5 to 10 minutes upstairs to nurse Julia, listen to music, and take some deep breaths is very helpful. Same goes for the mid-bedtime routine breather I take while the big 3 kids are finishing cleaning up the playroom. I take the little girls upstairs to get in their pjs and have a little snuggle.

*Disney +
The kids watch 1 movie every afternoon and having all of the old classics available has been amazing.
They get stuck easily (right now its the Lion King movies over and over and over) so on Mondays we have New Movie Monday and they have to watch something they've never seen. We've also been loving the Disney Family Sing-a-Longs!

*Podcasts
My favorite time of day right now is when I'm making dinner and folding laundry while Julia is napping in the wrap and I'm listening to a podcast. Here's my favorites if you're looking for something new:

Novel Pairings
Sara and Chelsey, both high school english teachers, read a different classic every other week, talk about it a bit, and then each offer 3 book recommendations along the same theme or feeling as the classic. Since they've had some extra time on their hands lately they've been recording bonus episodes on their 'off' weeks too where they've talked about comfort reads, poetry, and a really excellent Edith Wharton short story. Their goal isn't for people to read the classics with them, and you can definitely listen if you haven't read the books, but I have really been enjoying reading along! Sprinkling some classics in with my regular classics feels like it's helping keep my brain from turning to complete mush.

He Read She Read
Chelsey (same Chelsey from Novel Pairings) and Curtis, a married couple, discuss books they've read, make recommendations, and occasionally do buddy reads. Their show is on a hiatus right now because Curtis is deployed, but they've been around for a while, so there are a lot of episodes in their backlog.

What Should I Read Next
Anne Bogel (Modern Mrs. Darcy) talks to a different reader every week about their reading life and then they tell her 3 books they loved, 1 they didn't, and what they're currently reading so she can recommend them a few new reads.

Office Ladies
Jenna Fischer (Pam Beesly) and Angela Kinsey (Angela Martin) from The Office are watching and discussing an episode a week. They're up to Season 3, episode 1, so a fair amount of episodes in their backlog to binge listen to!

Showmance
Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina Cohen-Chang) and Kevin McHale (Artie Abrams) from Glee are watching and discussing season 1 of the show right now.

*Working out
I need to do some sort of movement every day or I get really mean. BodyFit By Amy on YouTube has a ton of really great workouts. I highly recommend checking her out, especially if you are pregnant or postpartum! Also on YouTube, Katherine Morgan has been uploading some really awesome ballet class videos for different levels. I did an Int/Adv barre the other day and it felt absolutely amazing.

*Babywearing
The fact that I do not know how to effectively and sanely parent without babywearing is nothing new, but it deserves mention here. Julia's last nap of the day right now is always in the wrap and doing things around the kitchen with her asleep on my chest is like therapy for me right now.

*My husband
James' job is considered essential and he's been working quite a lot of overtime, so I'm not seeing more of him right now than I normally do or anything, but I'm just especially grateful to see another adult at the end of the day. He recently had to isolate from us at home due to potentially being exposed to somebody who ended up being covid-positive and at the end of that isolation I was more grateful than ever not only that he was healthy, but for the extra set of hands, even if they're only around sometimes.

Coming up with this list has actually been really fun. Life is hard right now and there is way too much scary uncertainty, but remembering all of the little things that have been bringing me some joy and some calm lately has been a great exercise! I'm curious to know what keeps you sane? Either in these weird Corona days, or just normally. Because we all need something (or multiple things), right? I hope you get a chance to see/do/hear/etc your things today.

Once a Reader...

I know we aren't even halfway through this year, but I'm going to go ahead and claim 2018 as 'The Year I Re-Discovered Reading". I've already written about the reading challenge I'm doing this year, and how a big goal of mine for this year has been to read more and to read better quality books. It's honestly going a million times better than I had ever hoped. I set the goal hoping it would help me make my limited downtime more purposeful and to set a good example for my kids (especially Sam as his reading is becoming more and more fluent). What I didn't expect when setting this goal for myself, was that I was going to rediscover a part of me that I had lost, an unfortunate casualty of motherhood. I discovered the part of me that had always identified as a "reader".

Books have always been just as much a part of my life as family members. All of my memories include books in some way. My earliest memory, watching my brother Billy's birth when I was 4 years old, includes the memory of sitting on a worn birth center couch being read to while my mom was in labor. Without any effort, I can hear my dad's voice changing for each character as he read Berenstein Bear books to us in one of the boys' beds before we went to sleep, my mom's voice reading Harry Potter to us in their bed.

I remember the absolute thrill I felt when I finished reading my first chapter book all on my own (Little House on the Prairie). I remember book reports in school, before we started homeschooling. One year we gave oral presentations of a book we chose ourselves and got to bring in a snack to go with it. I read Listen to the Nightingale and brought iced tea and tea sandwiches. One of my classmates (I don't remember who) read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and brought in Turkish Delight.

When I was 13, my mom and I flew out to San Fransisco to visit my aunt, uncle, and brand new baby cousin. My biggest memory of my first plane ride was that I was reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which I had purchased with my own babysitting money when it was released at a big midnight party shortly before leaving for our trip. I remember finishing it on the plane ride home and gasping so loud when I read about Lord Voldemort returning that my mom jumped and asked me if I was ok. I told her I needed her to hurry up and read the book so that we could talk about it.

When we started going to the beach in Lewes every summer, my favorite part was re-reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (a tradition) and then diving into a huge stack of library books. "Go to the library" always topped my mom's to do list when getting ready to leave for vacation.

One Christmas Eve I decided to stay up almost the whole night and read most of Little Women. I was a little bleary eyed the next morning, but it was worth it. I had just really wanted to spend Christmas with the March sisters.

My first summer ballet intensive (Washington, DC 2003) was so memorable in so many ways, but a big one was that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was released right before I went away and it was on the top of the big pile of books I had packed. Several other dancers were reading it and a friend and I made sure to read it around the same pace, meaning we both learned of Sirius Black's fate on the same day and could comfort each other. 2 years later, at a summer intensive in Carlisle, PA I was reading the just released Half Blood Prince and finished the day before a friend, which meant I needed no explanation when she came bursting into my room sobbing with the book in her hand.

I remember in high school, the Language Arts curriculum my mom had me using introduced me to Emily Dickinson's poetry and from there I went through a phase of reading a lot of YA books written in verse. Some of better quality than others. One of my high school years I read Jane Austen's Emma and it made it's way onto my favorite books of all time list. I remember sitting in my loft bed (where I ended up doing most of my schoolwork a lot of days) actually eager to do my Language Arts because answering the questions felt like talking to somebody about the book I had loved, and who doesn't love discussing a book you really enjoyed?!

When I graduated high school and moved to Annapolis to dance, I had a part time job in a coffee shop/book store and it took incredible amounts of willpower not to blow my entire paycheck on books. As it was, I often went home with a few.

During a dark period in my early 20s, when a boyfriend had broken my heart, I hurried home from dancing and teaching every evening to read for hours. I read really sad books that helped me escape my own feelings. It felt oddly nice to cry for other people instead of myself for a change. (Said boyfriend is now my husband, so this memory has a happy ending!)

When James and I first got married, our combined libraries made up most of our moving boxes. In our tiny apartment, and with our meager budget, we made displaying every single book on a bookshelf a priority. An entire wall of our living room in that apartment (and the one we moved to a year and a half later) was filled with books.

The first summer we were married, I was often alone, since James spent most of that summer in the field. Once I got over my initial terror over driving on base, I went weekly to the library, and spent my days sitting by the pool, devouring everything by Emily Giffin and big stacks of other novels.

Taking the train home to PA to get ready for our 2nd wedding, a week ahead of James, I plowed through most of The Biography of Henry VIII, one of the longest books I'd ever read (and one of my favorites).

When I found out I was pregnant with Sam, I called my mom and when she asked what I was up to that day, I said, "Oh, just on my way to Barnes and Noble to buy some pregnancy books." by way of sharing the news. Immediately beginning to read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on was my very first instinct when I saw the positive test.

But then came babies. After Sam was born, I struggled to find time to read. There seemed to be so much else to do and we were having too much trouble figuring out the nursing thing for me to be able to read and nurse at the same time. As he got older, I seemed to have more time, but that quickly reading had ceased to be a habit and books were no longer my constant companions. Through the next few years of motherhood, I still read, and certain memories are still tied with books (When we moved to our house on base, while I was pregnant with Kate, I remember reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on a camp chair in our mostly empty house, waiting for the moving truck to arrive), but I wasn't reading nearly as much as I always had before and long stretches of time would go by where I didn't finish a single book.

I honestly didn't notice it for a while. There were just so many other things going on in my life. I'd still mention reading any time I was asked what my hobbies were. I still went to the library a lot, mostly to check out children's books, but only ever checked out 1 or 2 for myself. I read daily to my kids, we still had big bookshelves in our living room. Eventually though, I started to realize how little I was actually reading. And when I realized that, I realized something else. I missed it. I missed reading so much. I missed being able to lose myself in a book and I missed becoming invested in characters lives. I missed that little break from your own life that reading gives you.

Missing it wasn't enough to get back to where I had been though. It was enough to make an effort here and there, but after spurts of reading a small stack of books, I'd go back to rarely picking one up.

I had all the excuses. "I'm too busy.", "I'm too tired.", "My kids won't let me just sit down and read." Then I started to realize I was full of crap. I remember my mom telling me that everybody has time to read, but that it's all about how you prioritize your time. I also remember brushing that off and insisting that, no. Really. I had no time to read. Eventually, I realized my mom was right and I should have listened to her sooner (about this and about a million other things 😉 Love you mom!) I thought back to my own childhood and remembered her reading while she ate, while she cooked, at red lights... Everybody has time to read.

Many factors went into my decision to make reading a priority again, but chief among them was definitely the homeschooling curriculum we have been using this year. I've spent this whole school year (we only have 2.5 weeks left!!!!) reading so many really awesome books to my kids out loud and it has been such a wonderful reminder of the power of words! Along with that, watching Sam read better and better, and seeing him go through piles of books on his own has made me think about how much I loved books and reading as a kid, how excited I am for him to meet all of the characters I remember and still love, and how much I want to raise readers.

Now I feel like I'm 'back'. Like I can, once again, really for real be classified as a 'reader'. I stay up too late sometimes and neglect other things I should be doing sometimes (breakfast was a tad late this morning because I just had to finish the last chapter of Unbroken). I didn't realize just how much I missed this part of myself until I started finding it again, and I am so, so very glad that I did.

2018 Reading Challenge

Last year, I sat down to make some goals for 2017, and came across Modern Mrs. Darcy's blog. She had a really fun looking reading challenge and I felt excited to try it! But then... morning sickness. Reading, unfortunately, makes my first trimester nausea markedly worse. Boo. I could have picked up the challenge halfway through the year when I was feeling better, but life happened and I didn't. I did read more last year than I had the previous couple years, but not a ton, and not many books worth remembering.

This year though! This year, top of my goals list is to read more and read better quality books. Top of my daily habits I want to maintain for 2018 is reading daily. So I am super excited to really dive into Modern Mrs. Darcy's 2018 Reading Challenge! I've already chosen most of my books, but still have some empty spaces, so please feel free to chime in with appropriate recommendations friends! Here is the challenge from the blog:

And here are my selections so far:

A classic I've been meaning to read: Catcher in the Rye by: J.D. Salinger

Recommended by someone with great taste:

A book in translation: Shadow of the Wind by: Carlos Ruiz Zafon

A book nominated for a 2018 award:

A book of poetry: The Sun and Her Flowers by: Rupi Kaur

A book you can read in 1 day:

A book over 500 pages: Gone With the Wind by: Margaret Mitchell

A book by your favorite author: Open House by: Elizabeth Berg

A book by an author of a different race than me: The Bluest Eye by: Toni Morrison

A memoir: Night by: Elie Weisel

A book recommended by a librarian or indie bookseller: 

A banned book: The Handmaid's Tale by: Margaret Atwood

I would like to (roughly) read one of these each month, hopefully making reading enough of a habit that I can sprinkle in plenty of other books in between! I decided to start strong with my pick for a book over 500 pages and I'm on track to finish that before the end of the month!

Because tracking things on paper keeps me motivated and I love my bullet journal so much, I've made some pages in there to keep track of my progress. One is to keep track of all the books I read this year, one as a reference to remember the books I've chosen, and one (so far) to track my progress on a specific book (I most likely won't do this for every book, but for a particularly long book like Gone With the Wind, it has been motivating!)

I am so excited for this challenge and I will be sharing my progress as I go! Please let me know if any of you decide to take on this challenge yourself! I would love to hear what everybody is planning on reading this year!