A Want/Need/Wear/Read Christmas

I love Christmas. All of it. I love cheesy Christmas movies and I love nativity scenes. I love cookies and I love Advent wreaths. I love that God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and O Holy Night can coexist with All I Want For Christmas Is You and the Chipmunk’s Christmas Don’t Be Late. I’ve been unapologetically listening to Christmas music here and there for a couple weeks now, though we won’t decorate until after Thanksgiving. I have loved the whole Christmas season my whole life, and once I had kids my love for Christmas just exploded and I swear it grows a little more every year. The excitement and anticipation of Christmas through the eyes of kids is nothing short of magical.

Something else I love about Christmas is the gifts. Giving them and receiving them. I know that’s not really the right thing to say, but hear me out! I love thinking about things to give people. I love watching them open a gift (or just imagining them opening a card we sent!) and seeing joy on their face. I love receiving gifts. When I say I love receiving gifts, don’t misunderstand. I don’t mean that love being given big, expensive things. Or piles of stuff. I love the gift of being seen. I love knowing our name is on somebody’s Christmas card list. I love opening a gift one of my kids’ made for me (“I used pink paper to make that necklace because I know that’s one of your favorite colors!”) Heck, I love being tagged in a meme on Facebook because it reminded somebody of me. I think being seen is a gift that most people would love to receive. “I picked this out for you because I know you’ll love it.”, “I got this for you because I know you need it for work/your new hobby”, “I made these cookies for my family this week and remembered they’re your favorite so I brought you some!”, “Just wanted to say hi and I think you’re a great mom.”, “Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!” Gifts. Amazing gifts.

We want our kids to have this same view of gifts. We want them to know that the gifts of time or a kind word are just as (more even) important as the gift of a new toy. We also want them to play and explore and grow and learn and have toys that they love without feeling like we are drowning in a sea of toys. This can be such a hard balance to strike at any point in time, but especially at Christmas.

A few years ago, when Sam was 3 and Kate was 1, and we were talking about feeling ready to add a 3rd little one to our family soon, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by toys and Christmas was fast approaching. Browsing Pinterest one day, I stumbled across this Christmas list template for 4 gifts. 1 thing I want, 1 thing I need, 1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read. To me this was brilliant. Not only would it help us avoid the present overwhelm on Christmas morning, but I could see how it would greatly simplify Christmas shopping for me, having clear cut categories like this. So we tried it out, and haven’t looked back ever since. It seems to have gained some popularity in the past couple years and I am hearing about more and more families doing it. James and I even do it for our own gift exchanging now. I’ve seen some other incarnations of the template I found that include things like “1 thing to do share”, or “1 place to go.” I love those! We haven’t added those because I usually use some grandparent Christmas money for joint and/or experience gifts.

Since our first year of want/need/wear/read, our Christmas gift plan has changed a little bit, but the past 2 years have been the same and I think we’ve found our “sweet spot”. The want/need/wear/gifts come from us and the kids write to Santa asking for one special toy. Santa will also bring a new game or puzzle and something handmade, either by us or by somebody on Etsy. This works so well for us. Christmas morning is peaceful and fun, and clean up later in the day is very quick and easy. 

Gifts quickly and easily corralled post present opening.

The “want” and “read” gifts always seem to be the easiest for me and for others that I know who use these same categories. Kids are usually pretty open about things that they want and books (for me anyway!) are always so easy and fun to pick out for anybody! Sometimes “need” and “wear” can be a little trickier.

Oftentimes nobody really needs new clothes. Sometimes get them something really special (like a tutu dress for Kate or graphic t-shirts for the boys with trains or construction vehicles on them). Or we’ll go with new shoes, sunglasses, a jacket, or even something for dress up play.

In the past I’ve come up with “need” gifts that were the same for everybody across the board. Water bottles one year, umbrellas another, rain boots still another. This year is the first year that I’ve had different “need” ideas for everybody. But some “need” ideas I always have on my radar, besides those I just shared: something for a sport or activity they’re involved in (a ballet bag, a soccer ball, a piano songbook), a jewelry box, a bank or a wallet, a backpack, lunch box, crayons, a drawing pad, slippers, a blanket or quilt for their bed, hiking boots, a sleeping bag, binoculars, a compass, bike helmet. Sometimes I’m afraid the “need” gift will come across as boring, but so far it hasn’t! I think it’s important (and hard) to remember that kids are usually actually pretty easy to please. It’s easy to get the thought into our minds that they need something flashy and fancy to hold their attention, but let me tell you about the squeals of excitement we heard last year when everybody got a new pair of slippers! Slippers that they still get excited about to this day! So, if you want to try this, embrace the simple “need” gifts. Most likely they’ll be incredibly well received!

Like I said earlier, James and I do want/need/wear/read gifts for each other as well (Santa fills our stockings, but doesn’t leave gifts for us under the tree). Same as with the kids, the categories make planning and shopping so much easier, but even more than the kids, there’s something so special about both giving and receiving a “need” gift. Because with adults who are capable of meeting their own needs, you have to think “outside the box” a little bit and get them something they might not know they need. Last year James got me the gift of time to myself for my “need” gift. Bath products and coupons for things like trips out of the house by myself (to run errands or to just grab a cup of coffee). Things that yes I do need, but things that I’m not good at just doing for myself or asking for. My “need” gift from James always makes me feel so seen and so cared for.

I know that Christmas can be so overwhelming for a lot of different reasons, but a gift giving template like this one can do a lot towards simplifying not only Christmas morning, but also the aftermath! I am so thankful that I found this idea several years ago. And I am so excited that Christmas time has rolled around again! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play a Pentatonix Christmas album. Again. 

How We Homeschool Preschool

As a homeschooler, I answer a lot of questions from friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers in the grocery store. It's different than what most people are used to so there is naturally a lot of curiosity. And I love it. I love answering each and every question I'm asked. No matter who is asking or how many times I've answered the same question. I just love it. So, if you're somebody who has always had a question (or several) about homeschooling, ask me. I would be so happy to answer!

One question I get more often than most others, and this is probably just because this is sort of just my demographic right now, is, "How do you homeschool preschool?". Or, "What do you do with toddlers for school?". My answer has really evolved since Sam was 3 years old and I first started "homeschooling". Life has changed since then, but also my general homeschooling philosophy has changed a ton. It has happened bit by bit as I figured out what worked best for us, but it made a huge shift in the middle of last year when I was newly pregnant with Anna, feeling miserable, and way burnt out only doing Kindergarten. You can read more about that here, but basically I discovered and started researching a few styles of teaching that advocated for no formal learning before age 6. Already feeling stressed about mixing a 1st grade and pre-k year while also bringing home another baby, I took that and ran with it.

So, the short answer to, "How do you homsechool preschool?" is simply, "We don't." There are, however, plenty of things that I do intentionally do for the good of all my children really that could probably, for lack of a better term, be called our preschool "curriculum".

Quality children's literature.
We own tons of kids picture books and also try to get to the library at least once a month. Since discovering Charlotte Mason, I'm more careful about the quality of the books that we buy or check out of the library. I've heard other Charlotte Mason homeschoolers compare books to junk food or healthy food. Junk is fine in moderation, as long as you're maintaining a healthy diet otherwise. For our "healthy" books I look for beautiful illustrations, and good vocabulary. If I've learned nothing else from doing Charlotte Mason homeschooling this year, it's that children are far more capable of understanding a much wider vocabulary than we give them credit for. You can't go wrong with classics from authors like Robert McCloskey, Eric Carle, Jan Brett, and Ezra Jack Keats.

Outside time.
Some days this is harder than others, but we do our best. Sam and Kate are old enough at 6 and 4 to go out in the backyard by themselves, as long as they stay where I can easily see them out the back windows and stay out of the cornfields and front yard (we live on a back road, which means there are plenty of people who go flying by, well over the speed limit, so no front yard playing for us). That makes it easier because I can't always be outside, but I do make an effort to get Henry and Anna out there as much as I can too. Walks outside are good for everybody and provide endless learning opportunities for preschoolers (and everybody else!) We have nature journals and some field guides, and Sam does a little bit more of a structured nature study, but for preschool Kate is just exploring and I answer her questions if she has any.

Cooking and baking.
Again, endless learning opportunities without having to do anything special at all. I don't make baking a "lesson" at all, everybody just pulls a chair up to the counter and takes turns adding ingredients. They end up learning to count, seeing kind of how fractions work, learning what sorts of things need to work together to make food, what happens to certain things when they get hot or cold (like how water can boil and turn to steam or it can freeze and turn to ice). I have to cook anyway, why not let them help and learn without actually doing any planning or lessons right?

Music.
Our first grade curriculum includes monthly folk songs and hymns as well as composer studies. The little ones listen along to those and I also play a variety of music all throughout our days. Again, no lesson planning, but sometimes Kate has questions and I answer them. "This sounds different than the other one, why?" "Well the last one was a string quartet and this one is a piano solo." "What does quartet mean?" "4" "Okay." Just by playing a ton of music every day (a habit I started back when Sam was a toddler) I've noticed that Kate has a really good ear for music and picks up the emotions in different pieces. When she was 2 I was playing Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet and she said, "Mama, dis so sad." Sam is more likely to notice the volume of a particular piece and likes to pick out different instruments. Henry is already really good at catching the rhythm of whatever we're listening to and clapping or dancing fairly close to on beat. I love seeing all of the different ways they all hear and react to music! We also sing a lot of your usual preschool songs (and everybody really loves the 'days of the week' song!), but, in keeping with Charlotte Mason's philosophy, we really focus on quality! I think music is so important in any school at any age, but besides that, its very helpful at 'that' time of day before dinner and bedtime. I can have a little control over everybody's moods (mine included!) with the music I choose to play.

Art.
Sam has a scheduled picture study and Kate and Henry both like to look at whatever he's studying with him and play along when I cover it up and ask him to tell me what he remembers from it, but I don't make them. Sometimes they're not interested and obviously that's fine, since it's 1st grade work. I also don't plan or prep many crafts ahead of time for them. Drawing materials are always available and everybody is encouraged to use them. No formal drawing instruction or anything though. That, again, will start in first grade. Kate taught herself to draw flowers recently though copying out of a book about flowers that we have. I'm getting ready to teach Sam how to finger knit and I know that's something a 4 year old can easily do as well, so that will be a lesson where I will intentionally include Kate. Other handicrafts Sam has done, like yarn wrapped sticks and watercolors, Kate participates in if she wants to. She has her own pair of scissors that she is allowed to get out of the closet if she asks first, but I don't do planned "scissor skill" work or anything like that. Same with glue sticks, they're available (if they ask permission first) and they can glue whatever kind of creation they want to. So those are skills Kate has picked up on her own.

Life skills.
I think at the preschool age, it's just as important to teach life skills as it is to teach the alphabet. Sweeping, sink cleaning, vegetable and fruit washing, bed making, sock matching, drink pouring, snack making, and all things of that nature. This is all a little more in line with Maria Montessori than Charlotte Mason, although Ms. Mason was also an advocate for small children being able to do things for themselves. We don't do these things as lessons, I just make sure Kate learns the correct way to do them when they come up in life. Making her bed and cleaning the downstairs bathroom sink are her morning chores and she's getting pretty good at folding her extra blankets to lay at the foot of her bed!


In addition to all of these things that just happen in our daily life, I do have a few things put together that I can grab when Kate or Henry just have to do schoolwork like Sam. Or just when I need to occupy Henry long enough and quietly enough to get something accomplished with Sam. I have a bin of various beads, stones, beans, pom poms, pipe cleaners, etc and also a bin of little tongs, scoops, bowls, and cups. They can string beads on pipe cleaners, sort pom poms (or beads or beans or coins) by color or number into bowls or a muffin tin, pick up little things from one bowl with tongs and transfer them to another, all sorts of different little activities working their fine motor skills and keeping them fairly quiet. I cut up a bunch of cardboard rectangles and used glitter glue to write out the alphabet on them. They're fun (and pretty!) to play with and running their fingers over the bumpy, glittery letters is a pre-writing activity. Last year Kate had some matching games with laminated strips of paper and clothespins, but we haven't really gotten those out much this year. When Kate really wants to do school, we can do a ton with just one alphabet puzzle. She sings the ABCs, counts the letters, sorts them by color, traces them all with her finger, whatever she wants to do that satisfies her need to 'do school' that day. She also has a binder with laminated worksheets that she can work on with a dry erase marker, but we haven't used it in a couple months.

Something Charlotte Mason talks about a lot when she's discussing the 'early years' in her books is habit training. In most Charlotte Mason circles, when anybody asks what to do with the under 6 crowd, habit training, good books, and outside time are the top 3 answers. Habit training like attentiveness, obedience, orderliness, things you want your kids to know anyway, but you are just a little more intentional with it. For the habit of obedience we play red light green light or simon says. There are lots of ways to work on these habits through play (or schoolwork with older kids) and then they carry over into regular life as well.

So if the short answer to, "How do you homeschool preschool?" is, "We don't." the long answer would probably be that we don't really plan anything structured, but we make sure that the tools for good preschool learning are readily available. In addition to all of the things I've already talked about, we try to keep our playroom pretty 'open ended' (meaning little to no battery operated stuff) and our screen time minimal. I like to think that I'm giving Kate the tools to learn everything a preschooler should really be expected to know, and then letting her decide how and when to use them.

Every child learns differently. What works for one might not work at all for another, but this hands off approach can easily be tailored to different needs. Kate is not an especially self motivated learner. A big reason that we did attempt a more structured preschool with Sam was that he wanted to know all of the things and he wanted to know them immediately. I can see now though that he learned more and better when we stepped back from the structure and let him have more free reign. Even not being a very self motivated learned Kate has, in her own time, learned so much so far this school year. I was so nervous to be so hands off with her because she does tend to need more direction, but oh my goodness. She's flourishing! She is surprising me every day with things she is suddenly aware of and able to do. She learns at a very different pace than Sam, and different things click more easily for her than for him, but she's getting it all. Giving her the tools and the space to explore is giving her everything she needs. Today, for the first time, she got a piece of paper and copied the whole alphabet from our puzzle while I was doing a history reading with Sam. I was so proud and so relieved! It's hard to let go of your kids sometimes and let them figure things out on their own. That applies to schoolwork and a whole list of other things that I'm sure we're only in the extreme early stages of experiencing!

Preschoolers are amazing. And they are capable of so much more than we often give them credit for. They just need the space to do it!

I hope this post has answered some questions that I know many people have about homeschooling little ones and, like I said in the beginning of this post, I love homeschooling questions so please friends, never hesitate to ask!