Julia's Birth Story 11/14/19

2 days ago we became a family of 7 when Julia Helen made a very quick entrance in the small hours of the morning. While she's asleep on my chest with Christmas music playing in the background and we wait on our pizza delivery (because we are living our absolute best postpartum life right now), here's the story of her birthday!

My 11/8 due date came and went with no baby, despite feeling really sure the entire week leading up to my due date that something was going to happen at any moment. Go back and read my other birth stories though, I think I say that in every single one. The end of pregnancy reminds me of distance running. There is definitely a lot of physical endurance necessary to get through, but it's also so much a mind game! I didn't feel too discouraged about going past my due date though because that day I woke up feeling awful with a pretty bad cold. I was absolutely miserable the whole weekend. I don't remember the last time I was quite that sick! I was struggling to breathe just while sleeping, the thought of trying to labor while feeling that way made me panic. So I just concentrated on resting and recovering.

By Monday I felt slightly more human and then by Tuesday I felt more like my self (albeit very, very pregnant at the end of what had been a particularly exhausting pregnancy). I had an ultrasound appointment with a midwife follow up scheduled for Friday, when I'd be 41 weeks, but I was hoping not to have to go. At that point I was feeling sporadic contractions, but nothing worth timing. I was also feeling a lot of pressure. It was that feeling of pressure when I woke up on Wednesday, 40 weeks 5 days and the most pregnant I'd ever been, that prompted me to call the on call midwife and ask if I could please just come in for a check. I needed to know if what I was feeling was doing anything. I was feeling incredibly anxious because my last labor, with Anna, had progressed so strangely. Bev, one of my favorite midwives at Birth Care, was on call and told me to come in and she would see what was going on. I called my mom and she came over so she could sit in the car with the kids while I ran in for a check. 

At the birth center Bev and I talked about my labor with Anna and what I had been feeling the past few days. Then she checked me and said I was 4cm and about 80-90% effaced. I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. Something was going on. I asked her if she could do a sweep and she did. Before I left she gave me a long, tight hug and told me, "Soon. You're almost there." which obviously made me cry. I went back out to the car and my mom and I took the kids to Target and out to lunch. While walking around I was feeling a lot of pressure and every now and then a little contraction. Mostly I just felt tired. At home that afternoon I just laid down while the kids watched a movie and then I heated up soup my mom had dropped off earlier that week for dinner. At dinner and bedtime I felt like I was going to wake up disappointed and pregnant the next morning. I looked at James and said, "I. Just. Want. To. Have. A. Baby." Then while I was nursing Anna and putting her to bed I felt a couple stronger contractions that gave me pause and I started to hope a little bit. I rushed myself off to bed once the kids were all in bed because I was so exhausted and wanted to sleep some first if I was going to go into labor. I fell asleep some time between 9 and 9:30.

Around 11 I had a contraction strong enough to wake me up. It was the first contraction I'd had that required a little breathing so I assumed things were getting going. I tried to go back to sleep though since nothing consistent was happening. Between 11 and 12 I dozed off and on and had maybe 2 or 3 more contractions that required my attention. Right around midnight I had a contraction that I didn't want to lay down through, so I got up to breathe through it and opened up my contraction timer app. I woke James up to tell him labor was starting, and told him to go back to sleep, I'd wake him when they were closer. I went down and put on an episode of Downton Abbey and sat on the couch to time my contractions. They were about 10-12 minutes apart and I was very grateful to see that they were holding their pattern instead of being all over the place like they had been when I was in labor with Anna. By the time the episode was over I wasn't able to sit through the contractions anymore and I was swaying in front of the tv. At that point I figured we'd probably need to head to the birth center before the kids woke up. The game plan for that was for my dad to stay at the house with them while my mom went to the birth center with me and James. Then my dad would bring the kids in the van once they woke up. Not able to focus on a show like Downton anymore, I put on The Office as background noise and started moving around the house. I put away some clean dishes and tidied up the kitchen, laid out clothes for all of the kids, packed bags with toys for Anna and Henry, got out the snack basket I had put together a few days prior, just sort of generally did busy work and chores while my contractions started to space more like 6-7 minutes apart. 

Around 2am my contractions were more like 5 minutes apart so I woke James up and called my parents to come over. I called the birth center and spoke with the on call midwife, Myra, who told me she and another midwife were already there and to come whenever I was ready. James and I gathered our things and got dressed and my contractions were coming more like every 4 minutes and getting significantly stronger. I started to feel like things were moving pretty fast and felt a sense of urgency, but still thought my dad would certainly be bringing the kids over once they woke up around 7, so I wrote him a quick note about shoes and jackets and things like that while we waited. Once my parents walked in the door my sense of urgency was even more heightened and I could tell my mom and James were feeling it too. We quickly said goodbye to my dad and got into 2 cars. I went with my mom and James brought his truck. My parents would need 2 cars to get the kids back home after my dad brought them in the van later, so James and I could bring the baby home in the van. The logistics of getting everybody safely to and from the birth center in the correct car seats had been plaguing me for weeks to be honest! 

Pause for a contraction on the way out to the car.

On the way to the birth center, about halfway there (it takes between 15 and 20 minutes to get there) I had a long, strong contraction that left me sweaty and anxious. I had one moment of panic right then. I've given birth enough times to know what it feels like when transition comes and know my body enough to know when it's getting ready to push a baby out soon. My mom later told me that she had a moment of panic at the same time because she's watched me give birth enough times to know how my breathing changes when we're getting to the end. And James later said he had that same exact moment of panic following behind my mom's car when she noticeably sped up. 

We arrived at the birth center right around 3am. I jumped out of the car as fast as I could when we got there as I was feeling another contraction and contracting sitting in the car is my least favorite thing ever. I breathed through that contraction while James rushed over from his truck to rub my back and my mom got my bags. I made it the 10 steps to the front door before having to stop for another contraction. Myra had seen us pull in and had come outside to stand with me for that one. When it passed she told me to go into the little bedroom they call "triage" and she'd do a quick check. I had 2 contractions, very strong, before she could do that. Baby's heartbeat sounded great on the doppler and Myra said I was 9cm. She went to make sure a birthing room was ready and told me she'd be right back. I got up from the bed when she left and another super strong contraction came, but with this one I felt my body start to push. As soon as the contraction faded I told my mom and James that my body was pushing and right after that Myra came in, but I was contracting again. She could tell from how I looked and sounded what was going on and told me we could totally stay right there in that room or we could try to go back to a birthing room. The little room was plenty comfortable with a regular bed and everything, but it was pretty tiny and I wanted to try to get to the other room. I made my way as quickly as I could around the corner and down the hall, contractions just piling on top of each other at this point. I had to stop right outside the room and really felt my body pushing and had to vocalize through the contraction for the first time. Myra was standing next to me, quietly telling me I could keep going or stay. She has the most calming voice and I was so grateful for it! I made it the last couple steps into the bedroom and immediately grabbed the edge of the bed. With that contraction I felt very distinctly the baby move way down and some burning. When that contraction passed I said, "Uhhhh, the baby is coming. Right now." and then my water broke. 

Myra, still in her wonderfully calm and quiet voice, told me I could stay standing right where I was, or she would help me up onto the bed if I would be more comfortable. I told her I wanted to be on all 4s on the bed. I knew getting on all 4s would relieve some of the pressure I was feeling in my lower back, and it would be easier to get comfy once the baby was out. I needed a lot of help to get up on the bed and I was struggling mentally at this point. I think I said something along the lines of, "This is the part I don't like." (meaning that panicky, transition, "I just can't do this" part). I was also so very, very tired. Once I was up on the bed everybody helped pile a bunch of pillows under my head and I started pushing and breathing down into contractions and sort of falling asleep on the pillows in between. I could definitely feel the baby coming down, but my energy was so zapped. I didn't say anything, but Myra could tell I was exhausted, so she suggested I lay down on my side to be in a more restful position. I said I wanted that very much, but needed a lot of help. Myra, James, and the nurse were able to get me onto my side and James helped me hold one leg up. As soon as I laid down I felt the baby right there and with the next contraction I felt familiar crowning feelings without consciously pushing. At that moment I felt so. freaking. strong. all of a sudden and I pushed right into that crowning feeling until I knew the baby's head was out. Once baby's head was out I felt the most immense relief, both physically and mentally, but still had to dig really deep to get baby's shoulders and chest out. That's never been an easy part for me or my babies, and this time was no different, but out they came and I reached down and pulled my baby up to snuggle into my chest at last! It was 3:33, only a half an hour after we walked in the doors of the birth center, and only 3 and half hours after I got out of bed! 

You can see the contraction in this picture

He just continuously tells me, "You're doing it. You're doing so good." right in my ear and it's exactly what I need to hear.

Baby!

For the first time ever, I remembered to ask if we had a boy or a girl. I've always had to be reminded to check in the past! James looked and announced to the room that we had a baby girl and I said, "It's Julia! Hi Julia! Hi baby girl!" I so love that moment of greeting our new baby by their name for the first time!

Eventually the placenta was delivered and the cord cut, Myra said I didn't need any stitches (a first for me!) and everybody helped me get from laying onto my side to sitting propped up with pillows and Julia latched on. The nurse who had been there the whole time finally had a chance to say hello and introduce herself at that point! She took quick vitals from us and she and Myra left us alone to repeatedly exclaim to one another, "I can't believe how fast that went!" and to discuss that moment when all 3 of us had thought I was about to deliver a baby on the side of the road in front of an Amish farm. That would have been quite a birth story!

Noting the time, we knew I'd be discharged and we'd be heading home around 7:30, so there was no point in my dad even bringing the kids. My mom warmed up some food she had brought for us and then went back to our house to bring back the van with Julia's car seat. James and I just ate and talked and gazed at our beautiful baby girl. The nurse came back in to weigh and measure Julia. She was 8lbs 3oz and 20.5oz, making her our 2nd smallest baby. My mom got to hold her for a little bit while I showered and got dressed and we all hung out for another hour or so before getting Julia dressed and heading home! I immediately put my new Christmas cd into the van's cd player since I had been holding myself back from listening to Christmas music only until the baby came.

Beautiful mural in our birthing room. Beautiful tub too, but there definitely wasn't time for the tub!

Ready to go home!

At home Kate came running up to me first, looking so sweet in her messy braid and nightgown. I went over to the couch and everybody else came running too. They had all flip flopped between thinking we were having a boy or a girl, but most recently they had all firmly agreed that they were getting a brother. Luckily nobody was upset to be wrong and they were very excited to have another sister. Everybody petted her and examined her, my mom and dad headed home, I ate some more, and then Julia and I went upstairs to nurse and sleep while James and the big kids watched Moana. And that pretty much sums up the past couple days! Napping and nursing and movies (thanks Disney+ for your timely release!)

I still can't quite wrap my head around how fast everything went, but I am so grateful that it did. I truly did not have the mental or physical energy in me for anything longer! My recovery has been very smooth and easy so far and Julia is nursing and sleeping great. We had our home visit today and she is actually already an ounce over her birth weight!

We're now looking forward to more quiet, slow days soaking up this tiny new member of our family and are so excited to be celebrating this holiday season as a family of 7!

Anna's Birth Story

On August 31st, at 7:11pm, we welcomed our sweet Anna Jean into our family. She is currently snuggled up on my chest, nursing happily, and everybody is already completely and totally in love with her! While I have a moment I want to share her birth story, while the details are still fresh :) This was the strangest and most difficult (both mentally and physically!) of all of my labors. Empowering, but in a very different way than my other births have been.

My due date was Tuesday the 29th. I woke up tired from being awake a lot of the night with some cramping. My mom and I had talked about spending the morning at Longwood Gardens, walking around, but it was chilly and pouring rain. I still wanted to get out of the house and do some walking, so we drove out to the mall instead. We met my sister-in-law and nephews there and the kids had fun playing in the play area. We walked around, had lunch, and played some more before heading home and all the while I was having some pretty serious cramping. Nothing that was coming or go, and no tightening, just the cramping. I really felt like the baby would be coming soon, but also wondered if I thought that just because I was so tired and ready to be done being pregnant!

On Wednesday the 30th I had an appointment at the birth center for a checkup. I told my midwife about all of the cramping I'd been having and asked to be checked. She offered to sweep my membranes and I said yes. I really felt like I was in pre-labor and wanted to move things along. I was 3cm, very soft, and she was easily able to do the sweep. I went home from my appointment feeling encouraged. I was going to be holding my baby soon. I could feel it. I had a very strong need for everything in the house to be very clean and in order so I scrubbed bathrooms and the kitchen, vacuumed, did laundry, dusted, and generally just de-cluttered everything. I wasn't feeling any contractions, just some cramping. I was exhausted by the end of the day and my patience with my super hyper children was stretched pretty thin. I went to bed praying for contractions. I needed to be finished with the pregnancy part of this story. And I think my family was about ready too ;)

Around 11:30 I woke up crampy, went to the bathroom, and was surprised by my bloody show. For me, this means labor, but I'm usually already contracting fairly regularly when I see it. I hadn't felt any contractions at this point. I went to lay back down. I felt anxious and my adrenaline was going, but I knew labor was about to get going, if it wasn't really already, and rest would be important. I used some breathing exercises from Hypnobirthing to calm myself down and sleep at least a little. Around 12:30 or so I started having some contractions that required my attention, so I started timing them. They weren't particularly regular, but on average were coming every 10-12 minutes. I chose to stay in bed rather than get up to walk and encourage them to get closer. At one point I was up with Kate, and at another point I was up with Henry. I wasn't going back to sleep when I was in bed, but I was making an effort to relax my body and keep my eyes closed as much as I could. When James' alarm went off for work, a little after 4am, I told him I thought labor was starting and that I needed him to stay home. I also told him to go back to sleep and that I was going to go downstairs to watch tv because I was too anxious to stay in bed. Henry woke up again not long after I went downstairs, but I got him back to sleep and then I ended up falling asleep for a while myself on the couch and my contractions took a bit of a break. When I woke up the sun was starting to come up and I knew the kids would be waking up soon. I waited until I knew my mom was probably awake and texted her to let her know I thought today would be the day, and then went upstairs to wait for the kids. Sam and Kate came in our room at 7 like always and we told them Daddy would be staying home today because we thought the baby might come later. They were excited, but we tried to really stress the MAYBE of the whole situation, since my contractions were still very irregular.

We spent the morning as normally as possible. Breakfast, playing, some cleaning up. My contractions weren't following any sort of pattern. After Henry nursed when he woke up, they got a little closer, maybe 7 or 8 minutes apart for a little while, but then spaced back out to about 15 minutes or so apart. Then some were even further, more like 30 minutes. When I was having contractions they were fairly strong, but they just weren't making any sort of a pattern and I was getting frustrated. We went outside so the kids could run around and so I could walk around. It was more of the same, labor-wise, out there. No rhyme or reason as to when contractions would come, but strong with a lot of pressure when they did.

Kate wanted to walk around the yard with me. She was so sweet to me the whole day :)

What's going on baby? Are we going to meet you today or not?!

The kids ate lunch, I ate some cereal, and we got ready for nap/quiet time. A whole HOUR passed without a single contraction. I was so frustrated, I just felt like crying. I was nursing Henry down for his nap and for a long time I still didn't have a single contraction. And here I had been banking on his nursing bringing them back. Just as he was drifting off to sleep though, an incredibly strong contraction came. I had to quickly unlatch Henry in order to try and maintain some semblance of focus to get through this very strong, very long contraction. Poor guy was so sleepy and so confused. I couldn't even get him his binky to make up for so quickly unlatching him because I couldn't bend down to get it. Once the contraction passed I finished getting Henry to sleep, and then had another contraction after leaving his room. I was still feeling discouraged and upset. I told James I just wanted to take a nap. Thankfully I was able to sleep for about an hour and a half. I had only 2 contractions during that time, but both were very strong. I was starting to feel uneasy. It didn't feel like I was in active labor, but the intensity of my contractions made me feel like my labor was going to eventually take a very sudden turn. I told James how I was feeling and he said he was feeling the same way. I decided to call the birth center and see what the on call midwife had to say. She said, since we don't live too far from the birth center, that it wouldn't hurt to drive by at least for a check. So we started to pack up the car. I kept stressing to the kids that we MIGHT stay at the birth center to have a baby when we got there, but we also might just turn around and go home. I must have told them 50 times that we'd be leaving all of our bags in the car when we got there. At that point I had a string of strong contractions about 12 minutes apart, after they had spaced 20-40 minutes apart for a while, so I felt slightly encouraged, but then I had not a single contraction while packing up the car and driving to the birth center. When we got there I felt certain we'd be turning right around to go home. The kids started playing with the toys there and I went with the on call midwife, Sarah, into the little triage room for a quick check. I reminded her that I had been 3cm the day before, so 4 or 5cm right now wouldn't be much of a big deal. She said if I was a 4 she'd probably send me home since I didn't look to be in active labor at all and hadn't had any contractions spaced closer than 12 minutes in hours. I tried to read her face while she was checking me, but she just looked confused. She didn't say anything for a long time. I said, "So a 4?" She looked at me for a minute and said, "You're not going home." But still didn't say anything else. She was still checking. I asked, "Oh! A 6?" She sat back, "How are you so calm right now? You're a 9. 9cm. Actually more like 9.5. The only thing holding your cervix in place at all is your bag of waters." I was in shock, "Wait. What? But I don't feel like I'm in active labor. 9?" She assured me that that's why she was checking for so long, because she didn't believe it either and wanted to be really sure, "You're definitely almost complete. I could break your water right now and you would be holding your baby very soon. I'm sure of it. In fact we can do that if you want." I said I did, but that we'd need to wait for my mom and dad to get there to have help with the kids. She told me to go ahead and get a hold of my parents and then get settled in the room I'd picked. With my mom and dad on their way, the kids and I hung out in the room while James brought our things in. My contractions started to get slightly closer now, but I wasn't timing them anymore. Just trying to find my focus through my shock. At this point it was a little after 5pm.

Goodbye belly!

"Strong Like Mom" shirts seemed the most appropriate ;)

Once my parents got to the birth center, James got the kids and my dad situated out in the waiting area with toys, snacks, and movies. Sarah and I had been chatting while we waited for everybody. I expressed my concern with water slowing down my contractions even more, and also the fact that my babies have a history of 'sticky' shoulders. She was in agreement and suggested that we just keep the tub empty and plan for a land based birth. I felt most comfortable with that. With my mom and James in the room, Sarah went ahead and broke my water and felt for baby's position. She said baby was most definitely posterior, which would explain my funky labor pattern (or lack thereof). Only a small amount of fluid came out when she broke my water. Clearly baby's position was not ideal at that time. So we put the big ball up on the bed so I could kneel and drape my body over it, in hopes we'd get the baby to turn. It was close to 6pm by now. Leaning over the ball my contractions started coming much closer, and when I suddenly got very sweaty I knew I was in transition. I had a minute or two to gather myself together for what I knew was coming. I was struggling with focus. I'm used to having hours of labor prior to transition to really go inside myself to find a super calm, focused place. My contractions started piggy backing each other and, thankfully, after the first 1 or 2, I found that calm, focused place. Because of baby's position, my contractions were mostly felt in my back and my hips. Leaning over the ball did help a lot, as did James pushing my hips together during a few contractions. After a blur of these contractions I suddenly felt incredibly calm and relaxed, the contractions backed off, I picked my chest up off of the ball and asked Sarah to check me. "Transition is over. I know I'm complete." She checked and told me I was right. I love how in tune with my body I feel when I'm in labor!

This was hanging in my bathroom. Very appropriate for this particular labor!

I had a welcome break at this point. I drank water and we talked about positions to try pushing in to keep encouraging the baby to turn. When I started to feel 'pushy' contractions beginning, probably between 6:30 and 6:40,  I asked to stay on my hands and knees since I was still feeling a lot in my back. I started breathing down through contractions and could feel the baby moving down, but not enough, and still so much pressure and discomfort in my back. I moved to semi reclining now and put a little more power behind each contraction, rather than breathing through. I still felt like baby hadn't turned. We tried a stool to help me squat. This was SO intense. I was starting to feel a little panicky and scared by how intense pushing on the stool felt. I was crying, "I want my baby." in between contractions. Sarah asked me after one if I wanted to move back to the bed because she could tell I'd made a lot of progress. I told her I'd do one more on the stool and then went deep inside myself and gave myself a pep talk. "You CAN do this. You are STRONG. You are CAPABLE." and from that moment on that was my mantra inside my head for each and every contraction. Sometimes just, "You are STRONG." over and over and sometimes the whole string of affirmations. Once I got back up on the bed I felt more productive. I knew the baby had turned while I was on the stool and wasn't posterior anymore. I had thought I had felt it, but once I felt how much more productive I felt pushing back up on the bed, I knew for sure. I asked Sarah to tell me as soon as she could see even a little of the baby's head because I needed to feel it with my hand. Shortly thereafter she told me to feel and once I did and knew how very close my baby was, I prayed for just a little more strength, and told myself I was having this baby right then. James was talking in my ear this whole time, assuring me that I was so close, that I was doing everything exactly how I was supposed to. With the next contraction, baby's head was born and then, with a little extra effort, shoulders, and finally I was pulling my baby onto my chest, "Oh I did it. Oh you're finally out!" Sarah reminded James to take a peek to find out if we had a boy or a girl, but he had caught a glimpse on the way up to my chest, "It's a little girl!" I started crying then and said, "It's Anna! This is our Anna! Hi Anna!" And, in that minute, our family grew.

I looked up at James and said, "That was hard. That was really hard." and we both remarked over how big Anna looked! The yummiest rolls on her arms and thighs! While I delivered the placenta and Sarah checked me out (I just needed one small stitch), James went out to tell the kids that they had a sister. I asked my mom to go out and capture their reactions on camera because they had been so sure it was a girl and so excited at the prospect of another sister. I knew their reactions would be so sweet, and I was not disappointed ;)

A few minutes later Anna had very easily latched on (I was very grateful to notice absolutely no tongue tie after struggling with both Kate and Henry's tongue ties!) and the kids came in to get in bed with me. Such a wonderful feeling, having all four of my babies there in bed with me. 

Comparing his thumb size to hers

The kids went back out to be with Grandpa and my mom went to start heating up food for all of us while the nurse took vitals from me and Anna and then left us to relax. This is one of my favorite parts of a birth center birth. The absolute peace of being left alone for a couple hours after your baby is born. Anna nursed, James and I talked over the strange whirlwind her labor and delivery ended up being, my mom brought us food, it was cozy and quiet and wonderful.

After a couple of hours Anna had her checkup and was weighed and measured. She was 9lbs 4oz and 20 3/4in! Our heaviest baby by a lot! I couldn't believe she had been in my belly and that I had pushed her out!

My mom and dad got the big kids into their jammies at this point and took them home to go to bed. I took a shower and our nurse went over our discharge paperwork with us before we packed up and went home ourselves, about 4 hours after Anna was born. 

Since bringing Anna home we've just been soaking her in. Everybody is just so in love with her and is always asking for a turn holding her. She's a champion little nurser and a pretty good sleeper. I think we're all enjoying a very quiet, very low key postpartum. Pajamas, movies, snacks, snuggles, naps. I've been feeling wonderful! I'm actually surprised because of how tough the actual delivery was. The only thing that's sore is my upper back and chest. I feel like I've been doing a lot of push ups actually. Probably from all of the time I spent on my hands and knees, trying to get little miss to turn. Between how much Anna has been nursing, and also nursing Henry a few times a day, I've been very very hungry. Thankfully, James is home until Tuesday and is keeping me well fed ;)

I feel so incredibly blessed to be Mama to these 4, wonderful, healthy, beautiful children and am so looking forward to settling into a routine at a family of 6!