I don't hate rainy days. I actually enjoy them most of the time. What I hate is a rainy day when I'm sick and my husband is gone. :/ I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick and now I'm just lying in bed feeling like crap. And I thought I said good-bye to nausea when I said good-bye to my frist trimester... Ugh, I think I probably caught a stomach bug from one of my students. Those kids are crawling with germs when I see them for ballet class after school. Hopefully though this is just one of those quick bugs. Here and gone in a day. Hopefully.
So we're about 2 weeks into this stinkin South America deployment. The beginning is always the hardest, I can feel it getting easier already. I hope that means that I'm getting over that awful 'beginning of deployment hump'. It still sucks though. I of course love my husband with all that I am and wish he was here simply so that he could be HERE and not THERE. But the selfish, and let's be honest, whiny part of me is coming out today and I want him here because I need to go to the grocery store for some Gatorade and crackers and I just don't want to get out of bed. Like I said, selfish and whiny.
Sometimes I think, or I okay I KNOW that I complain far too much. Especially when James is gone because I just miss him so much. It's one of my pet peeves about myself. I really need to stop complaining. He's on a non-combat deployment. He's not going to be gone very long at all in comparison to a combat deployment. After this he's changing from a regular old grunt to a combat instructor at SOI. Non-deployable until 2015. When he is home he's an incredibly supportive, helpful, and loving husband. He doesn't spend hours on end playing video games, even though he loves them. Instead he'll play on the nights when I'm off teaching my classes. He makes every effort to spend as much time with me as possible, is quick to do or say something sweet and/or romantic, and tells me he loves me multiple times every single day. I have a family (in-laws included) who love and support both of us in everything we choose to do. I have a close group of friends, both here and back at home who are always there for me. I'm so lucky to get to experience the miracle of having a life growing inside me, and in just a few months we'll get to meet our first son. I have a passion that's been with me my whole life, and I'm lucky enough to keep that passion alive when I'm teaching ballet classes. And I have the freedom to wake up each day in a country where I can choose to live as I want, and with pride! Knowing that my husband is one of the ones out there fighting for that freedom...
There. I feel better. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day-to-day silly complaints, that I truly forget how many blessings I really have. My goal for this year (I don't really like the term 'New Years Resolution' because when I hear that I always think of stupid diet plans that don't last into February. So it sounds better to me to say 'goal') Anyway, goal for this year: Complain less and count blessings more. Especially because I don't want to be one of those new moms who complains about their baby 24/7. Whenever I hear that I think, "Well why did you choose to get pregnant and have a child in the first place?" I know I'll be sleep deprived, I know I'll get frustrated and that the housework won't always be done, I know I'll be covered in spit up and maybe won't get out of the house as much as I'd like, but I'll have a precious little baby boy. Sure I'll have my bad days, but I hope to be the kind of mother who finds the good in everything and doesn't dwell on the stress and who doesn't sit around counting the hours of missed sleep. I want to enjoy my baby, and I know that I will :)
This post is kind of all over the place isn't it? haha It's actually really helped me out of my funk a little bit. My stomach is still queasy, I still have a headache, and I still miss my husband more than words can say. I'm just a whole lot less grumpy than I was when I started to type. So I will call this a successful blog post :) And off I go to the grocery store for a little Gatorade...
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