Julia's Birth Story 11/14/19

2 days ago we became a family of 7 when Julia Helen made a very quick entrance in the small hours of the morning. While she's asleep on my chest with Christmas music playing in the background and we wait on our pizza delivery (because we are living our absolute best postpartum life right now), here's the story of her birthday!

My 11/8 due date came and went with no baby, despite feeling really sure the entire week leading up to my due date that something was going to happen at any moment. Go back and read my other birth stories though, I think I say that in every single one. The end of pregnancy reminds me of distance running. There is definitely a lot of physical endurance necessary to get through, but it's also so much a mind game! I didn't feel too discouraged about going past my due date though because that day I woke up feeling awful with a pretty bad cold. I was absolutely miserable the whole weekend. I don't remember the last time I was quite that sick! I was struggling to breathe just while sleeping, the thought of trying to labor while feeling that way made me panic. So I just concentrated on resting and recovering.

By Monday I felt slightly more human and then by Tuesday I felt more like my self (albeit very, very pregnant at the end of what had been a particularly exhausting pregnancy). I had an ultrasound appointment with a midwife follow up scheduled for Friday, when I'd be 41 weeks, but I was hoping not to have to go. At that point I was feeling sporadic contractions, but nothing worth timing. I was also feeling a lot of pressure. It was that feeling of pressure when I woke up on Wednesday, 40 weeks 5 days and the most pregnant I'd ever been, that prompted me to call the on call midwife and ask if I could please just come in for a check. I needed to know if what I was feeling was doing anything. I was feeling incredibly anxious because my last labor, with Anna, had progressed so strangely. Bev, one of my favorite midwives at Birth Care, was on call and told me to come in and she would see what was going on. I called my mom and she came over so she could sit in the car with the kids while I ran in for a check. 

At the birth center Bev and I talked about my labor with Anna and what I had been feeling the past few days. Then she checked me and said I was 4cm and about 80-90% effaced. I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. Something was going on. I asked her if she could do a sweep and she did. Before I left she gave me a long, tight hug and told me, "Soon. You're almost there." which obviously made me cry. I went back out to the car and my mom and I took the kids to Target and out to lunch. While walking around I was feeling a lot of pressure and every now and then a little contraction. Mostly I just felt tired. At home that afternoon I just laid down while the kids watched a movie and then I heated up soup my mom had dropped off earlier that week for dinner. At dinner and bedtime I felt like I was going to wake up disappointed and pregnant the next morning. I looked at James and said, "I. Just. Want. To. Have. A. Baby." Then while I was nursing Anna and putting her to bed I felt a couple stronger contractions that gave me pause and I started to hope a little bit. I rushed myself off to bed once the kids were all in bed because I was so exhausted and wanted to sleep some first if I was going to go into labor. I fell asleep some time between 9 and 9:30.

Around 11 I had a contraction strong enough to wake me up. It was the first contraction I'd had that required a little breathing so I assumed things were getting going. I tried to go back to sleep though since nothing consistent was happening. Between 11 and 12 I dozed off and on and had maybe 2 or 3 more contractions that required my attention. Right around midnight I had a contraction that I didn't want to lay down through, so I got up to breathe through it and opened up my contraction timer app. I woke James up to tell him labor was starting, and told him to go back to sleep, I'd wake him when they were closer. I went down and put on an episode of Downton Abbey and sat on the couch to time my contractions. They were about 10-12 minutes apart and I was very grateful to see that they were holding their pattern instead of being all over the place like they had been when I was in labor with Anna. By the time the episode was over I wasn't able to sit through the contractions anymore and I was swaying in front of the tv. At that point I figured we'd probably need to head to the birth center before the kids woke up. The game plan for that was for my dad to stay at the house with them while my mom went to the birth center with me and James. Then my dad would bring the kids in the van once they woke up. Not able to focus on a show like Downton anymore, I put on The Office as background noise and started moving around the house. I put away some clean dishes and tidied up the kitchen, laid out clothes for all of the kids, packed bags with toys for Anna and Henry, got out the snack basket I had put together a few days prior, just sort of generally did busy work and chores while my contractions started to space more like 6-7 minutes apart. 

Around 2am my contractions were more like 5 minutes apart so I woke James up and called my parents to come over. I called the birth center and spoke with the on call midwife, Myra, who told me she and another midwife were already there and to come whenever I was ready. James and I gathered our things and got dressed and my contractions were coming more like every 4 minutes and getting significantly stronger. I started to feel like things were moving pretty fast and felt a sense of urgency, but still thought my dad would certainly be bringing the kids over once they woke up around 7, so I wrote him a quick note about shoes and jackets and things like that while we waited. Once my parents walked in the door my sense of urgency was even more heightened and I could tell my mom and James were feeling it too. We quickly said goodbye to my dad and got into 2 cars. I went with my mom and James brought his truck. My parents would need 2 cars to get the kids back home after my dad brought them in the van later, so James and I could bring the baby home in the van. The logistics of getting everybody safely to and from the birth center in the correct car seats had been plaguing me for weeks to be honest! 

Pause for a contraction on the way out to the car.

On the way to the birth center, about halfway there (it takes between 15 and 20 minutes to get there) I had a long, strong contraction that left me sweaty and anxious. I had one moment of panic right then. I've given birth enough times to know what it feels like when transition comes and know my body enough to know when it's getting ready to push a baby out soon. My mom later told me that she had a moment of panic at the same time because she's watched me give birth enough times to know how my breathing changes when we're getting to the end. And James later said he had that same exact moment of panic following behind my mom's car when she noticeably sped up. 

We arrived at the birth center right around 3am. I jumped out of the car as fast as I could when we got there as I was feeling another contraction and contracting sitting in the car is my least favorite thing ever. I breathed through that contraction while James rushed over from his truck to rub my back and my mom got my bags. I made it the 10 steps to the front door before having to stop for another contraction. Myra had seen us pull in and had come outside to stand with me for that one. When it passed she told me to go into the little bedroom they call "triage" and she'd do a quick check. I had 2 contractions, very strong, before she could do that. Baby's heartbeat sounded great on the doppler and Myra said I was 9cm. She went to make sure a birthing room was ready and told me she'd be right back. I got up from the bed when she left and another super strong contraction came, but with this one I felt my body start to push. As soon as the contraction faded I told my mom and James that my body was pushing and right after that Myra came in, but I was contracting again. She could tell from how I looked and sounded what was going on and told me we could totally stay right there in that room or we could try to go back to a birthing room. The little room was plenty comfortable with a regular bed and everything, but it was pretty tiny and I wanted to try to get to the other room. I made my way as quickly as I could around the corner and down the hall, contractions just piling on top of each other at this point. I had to stop right outside the room and really felt my body pushing and had to vocalize through the contraction for the first time. Myra was standing next to me, quietly telling me I could keep going or stay. She has the most calming voice and I was so grateful for it! I made it the last couple steps into the bedroom and immediately grabbed the edge of the bed. With that contraction I felt very distinctly the baby move way down and some burning. When that contraction passed I said, "Uhhhh, the baby is coming. Right now." and then my water broke. 

Myra, still in her wonderfully calm and quiet voice, told me I could stay standing right where I was, or she would help me up onto the bed if I would be more comfortable. I told her I wanted to be on all 4s on the bed. I knew getting on all 4s would relieve some of the pressure I was feeling in my lower back, and it would be easier to get comfy once the baby was out. I needed a lot of help to get up on the bed and I was struggling mentally at this point. I think I said something along the lines of, "This is the part I don't like." (meaning that panicky, transition, "I just can't do this" part). I was also so very, very tired. Once I was up on the bed everybody helped pile a bunch of pillows under my head and I started pushing and breathing down into contractions and sort of falling asleep on the pillows in between. I could definitely feel the baby coming down, but my energy was so zapped. I didn't say anything, but Myra could tell I was exhausted, so she suggested I lay down on my side to be in a more restful position. I said I wanted that very much, but needed a lot of help. Myra, James, and the nurse were able to get me onto my side and James helped me hold one leg up. As soon as I laid down I felt the baby right there and with the next contraction I felt familiar crowning feelings without consciously pushing. At that moment I felt so. freaking. strong. all of a sudden and I pushed right into that crowning feeling until I knew the baby's head was out. Once baby's head was out I felt the most immense relief, both physically and mentally, but still had to dig really deep to get baby's shoulders and chest out. That's never been an easy part for me or my babies, and this time was no different, but out they came and I reached down and pulled my baby up to snuggle into my chest at last! It was 3:33, only a half an hour after we walked in the doors of the birth center, and only 3 and half hours after I got out of bed! 

You can see the contraction in this picture

He just continuously tells me, "You're doing it. You're doing so good." right in my ear and it's exactly what I need to hear.

Baby!

For the first time ever, I remembered to ask if we had a boy or a girl. I've always had to be reminded to check in the past! James looked and announced to the room that we had a baby girl and I said, "It's Julia! Hi Julia! Hi baby girl!" I so love that moment of greeting our new baby by their name for the first time!

Eventually the placenta was delivered and the cord cut, Myra said I didn't need any stitches (a first for me!) and everybody helped me get from laying onto my side to sitting propped up with pillows and Julia latched on. The nurse who had been there the whole time finally had a chance to say hello and introduce herself at that point! She took quick vitals from us and she and Myra left us alone to repeatedly exclaim to one another, "I can't believe how fast that went!" and to discuss that moment when all 3 of us had thought I was about to deliver a baby on the side of the road in front of an Amish farm. That would have been quite a birth story!

Noting the time, we knew I'd be discharged and we'd be heading home around 7:30, so there was no point in my dad even bringing the kids. My mom warmed up some food she had brought for us and then went back to our house to bring back the van with Julia's car seat. James and I just ate and talked and gazed at our beautiful baby girl. The nurse came back in to weigh and measure Julia. She was 8lbs 3oz and 20.5oz, making her our 2nd smallest baby. My mom got to hold her for a little bit while I showered and got dressed and we all hung out for another hour or so before getting Julia dressed and heading home! I immediately put my new Christmas cd into the van's cd player since I had been holding myself back from listening to Christmas music only until the baby came.

Beautiful mural in our birthing room. Beautiful tub too, but there definitely wasn't time for the tub!

Ready to go home!

At home Kate came running up to me first, looking so sweet in her messy braid and nightgown. I went over to the couch and everybody else came running too. They had all flip flopped between thinking we were having a boy or a girl, but most recently they had all firmly agreed that they were getting a brother. Luckily nobody was upset to be wrong and they were very excited to have another sister. Everybody petted her and examined her, my mom and dad headed home, I ate some more, and then Julia and I went upstairs to nurse and sleep while James and the big kids watched Moana. And that pretty much sums up the past couple days! Napping and nursing and movies (thanks Disney+ for your timely release!)

I still can't quite wrap my head around how fast everything went, but I am so grateful that it did. I truly did not have the mental or physical energy in me for anything longer! My recovery has been very smooth and easy so far and Julia is nursing and sleeping great. We had our home visit today and she is actually already an ounce over her birth weight!

We're now looking forward to more quiet, slow days soaking up this tiny new member of our family and are so excited to be celebrating this holiday season as a family of 7!

How I Create Minimal Wardrobes For My Kids

The past few months have been a whirlwind. James was working out of town 5-6 days a week for most of the winter which made the whole season somehow fly by and slow way down simultaneously. His return to a normal schedule coincided with the official beginning of spring, so we were looking forward to mid-March even more than usual!

As per usual, spring is making a slower start than I would like, but while we've been waiting for the weather to heat up and for some color to return to the world, I've been working on putting together the kids' summer wardrobes. This didn't used to be such a chore for me. I'd go to a consignment sale or two, hit up a good Carter's sale, and call it a day. What did used to be an overwhelming chore for me was laundry. Laundry and somehow keeping everybody's clothes contained in their designated dressers and closets. I constantly felt like I was absolutely drowning in kids clothes, yet putting together outfits for them was still a headache because they'd have this one pair of shorts that only matched with one or two shirts and maybe one of those shirts were dirty (or somewhere at the bottom of Mount Laundry). A couple years ago, fed up with shoving clothes into drawers and stacking yet another bin stuffed full of off season clothes in just one size and gender in the basement, I decided to drastically minimize the kids clothes.

And then my life changed. I am not even kidding.

I realized if I concentrated on buying neutral bottoms and mostly basic tops in solids or stripes, I could get away with a lot less clothing for all of them. When I switched to one load of laundry every day, having less clothes got even easier (and Mount Laundry was conquered once and for all, never to make an appearance again) This meant shopping for new clothes was a lot more difficult that filling up a huge bag at the consignment sale, but it was well worth the challenge.

When I first started, I wasn't super intentional. No specific lists or numbers, I just focused on neutrals and solids and not overbuying. It worked for the most part, but I still ended up with some holes that needed filling here and there. Now I go into each season with a list. Before making my list, I pull out bins (all drastically purged so that each now fit several sizes in both genders for one season) from last year to find what might still fits. Once I know what can be worn again for a second year, and what size each kid will be moving into, I can make my lists. Then, lists always close by, I go to one consignment sale and then fill in with end of winter and early spring sales. I shop more at Old Navy than Carters these days since I feel like their clothes tend to mix and match a little better. I also discovered Primary, a super cool company who makes basic kids clothing in a wide range of solid colors and some stripes. They tend to run a little pricier than my frugal self likes, but they run sales all. the. time.

Sticking to my list, I slowly piece everything together and keep it all in one small bin in the basement. Once it seems everything on my list has been taken care of, I lay it all out to make sure I'm not missing anything important. If we're all good, I wash everything and we're good to go! Laundry is easier, managing where everything is put away is easier (I can easily fit Sam and Kate's non-hanging clothes in one of those plastic 3 drawer bins, Henry and Anna share a 3 drawer dresser with tons of extra space), and dressing them is easier. I try and include a few matching or coordinating pieces for special occasions or for when we go to amusement parks or museums (because it's just easier to keep track of everybody when they're wearing one main color). I also try to make the girls' holiday dresses (for Christmas and Easter) be dressy enough to be special, but neutral enough that they can wear them again several times throughout the season.

These are everybody's summer clothes for this year.

This is the list I worked from for this summer. My winter list was similar, only with a few more tops and bottoms for layering purposes.

Boys-

3-4 pairs casual shorts (including 1 pair khaki shorts)

3-4 pairs athletic shorts

7-10 tshirts (2-3 graphic ts, the rest solids or stripes)

3-4 collared shirts (including something suitable for Easter)

2-3 pairs pjs with shorts

1-2 pairs pjs with pants

1 bathing suit

1 pair sandals (sturdy enough for hiking, decent looking enough for church)

1 pair flip flops

Girls-

2-3 pairs shorts

1 pair white undershorts to wear w/ dresses

5-7 tshirts

7-8 dresses (including something suitable for Easter)

2-3 pairs pjs with shorts AND/OR nightgowns

1-2 pairs pjs with pants

1 bathing suit

1 pair sandals

1 pair flip flops

1 pair white, dressier sandals

To some people's standards, this isn't at all minimal. I could easily pare this down even more, especially since I do laundry every single day. This is what works best for us right now though. The boys are semi-interested in their clothing choices and Kate is very interested in her clothing choices. Anna doesn't care yet. These numbers have struck the right balance between keeping things manageable and giving everybody choices! This also accounts for those crazy days were people are just spilling drinks and rolling in dirt and peeing all over themselves left and right, requiring multiple wardrobe changes before dinner.

Right now everybody is old enough to mostly stay in one size for a whole season. My kids usually move up a size in the spring, so I don't buy multiple sizes for the summer unless a growth spurt sneaks up on us. Sometimes towards the end of winter I need replace some of their pants and long sleeve shirts with the next size up that I then roll into their winter wardrobe for the next year. When I have had a baby who was probably going to change sizes mid-season, I'd just do maybe 1/2 to 3/4 of this list for each size.

I keep underwear, socks, and outerwear to a minimum as well. That all looks something like this for the spring/summer:

Undies- 7 pairs

Socks- 5-7 pairs

Zip-up hoodie- 1

Sweater/cardigan- 1

Sun hat/baseball cap- 1

Sunglasses- 1

Here's everybody's summer wardrobes laid out for those of you who need a visual.

Sam's

Kate's

Henry's

Anna's (Anna ended up with more tshirts than I originally planned because she still sometimes requires a shirt change after lunch)

So does this take planning and work? Yup. Was it easier to just buy a bunch of stuff and wing it. Yup. Is it worth all of the planning and work? YUP x1000000. I've even rolled this over into my own wardrobe, purging a lot of unnecessary items and only keeping neutrals and solids that can mix and match. 

I can say with 100% honesty that drastically minimizing my kids' clothing has made a huge, positive impact on my sanity and on our home life. I know it's not for everybody. For some this is still too much clothing, and for others it's far too little. But this is the balance that I've found works best for us and makes our life run as smoothly as possible ❤

Our Daily Routine at the end of 2018

Last fall I wrote a post detailing what our daily routine looked like at that time and already, just one year later, when I look back at that post that particular rhythm of days seems foreign. So here is this year's installment which, I'm sure, in the fall of 2019 I will look back on and marvel how much just one year can change things!

The easiest way to make me feel frazzled and overwhelmed doing this mom thing is for us to go way off of our routine for a while. I feel lost, un-anchored, just sort of drifting along and fuzzy. I know this isn't true for everybody, some people thrive on a more spur of the moment, every day is a different adventure, kind of life. And that's great! But that's definitely not me. Right now we're coming off of several weeks of disrupted routine. Between trips and illnesses and some snow, our usual routine was nowhere to be found. Being in our normal routine this week has felt like slipping into a hot bubble bath after a really, really long day. So cozy and so comfortable. I feel like the whole week has just been one gigantic sigh of relief. I feel calmer, happier, and even the kids' behavior is markedly better. With this fresh gratitude and appreciation for our routine, now seems like the perfect time to write this post. The rhythm of our days brings me such joy and that's what is important, right? Whether you thrive on a structured day or not, the end goal for all of us should be days that bring us joy. Here's what joy looks like for me.

6:30- On a great day, when all the stars have aligned, Anna has slept through the night or only woke briefly once, nobody else has needed me in the night, and anxiety over one thing or another hasn't kept me awake at any point, I will wake up at 6:30 and have some quiet alone time downstairs. Given those specifications, I imagine nobody reading this will be surprised when I say that this doesn't happen often. When it does it is glorious and changes my whole entire day for the better. Someday, someday I will be able to make this happen more regularly. 

Sigh. It's so peaceful when it happens. Tea, devotions, journaling, reading.

7:00- We still have our 'the day starts at 7' rule, meaning anybody awake before 7 can play or read quietly in their beds until they see the 7 on the clock, at which point they can come out to start the day. More and more lately, the only one awake prior to 7 and coming out at 7 is Kate. The boys and Anna tend to sleep later (or Sam will get up at 7 and opt to stay in bed reading until 7:30). If I haven't been up since 6:30 I'll try to snag a little quiet reading time in my bed for a few minutes before getting up and getting myself ready. Alternatively, I just sleep til 7:30, read for 5 minutes (I just like to start my day by reading a page or two at least, it just sets a good tone) and then get ready. I've learned this year that I am my most productive self if I immediately wash my face, brush my teeth, make my bed, fix my hair, and get dressed in the morning. I used to wait until after breakfast, but now as soon as my feet hit the floor I do this routine. Even on mornings where I've had less than 5 hours of sleep and I feel horrible, washing my face and getting my bed made performs some magic on me and I feel like I can at least shuffle through the day. 

While I'm doing this, kids are slowly waking up and going to play. Sometimes if Anna wakes up and I'm not quite ready yet, one or two of the bigger kids will go in her room and sit and talk to her. I love it. It's the sweetest thing and so helpful! Once I'm ready for the day, I run downstairs and put away the dishes on the drying rack from dinner the previous night, open up the curtains (if Kate hasn't already, that's a morning job she does really like to do since she's usually the first kid up), and wash any dishes James left behind (usually just the coffee pot and the knife he used for his bagel). Then I go up to nurse Anna in her room before bringing her down to play with the big kids who are, by now, playing in the playroom. I get breakfast made while they play and wander in and out of the kitchen to tell me about something from a dream they had, or a fact they'd just read (Sam), or ask what we had to do that day. 

8:30/9ish- Breakfast on the table and, on school days, we read our Bible reading, our daily devotional, some poetry, and pray and practice a memory verse together. I'm usually multitasking and making my breakfast while we do this reading and sit down to eat after they've all finished. Sam and Kate go upstairs to do their morning chores (get dressed, pjs on their dresser or the hamper depending upon whether or not they'd worn them twice yet, make their beds, brush their teeth, and Sam cleans the upstairs bathroom sink). Henry goes to play in the playroom and Anna usually sits on my lap and shares my breakfast and my tea. I read a little while I eat and then wash the dishes and get Henry and Anna dressed. If Anna has been especially.... creative... with her breakfast, she gets a sink bath. (Bananas = hair gel to this girl)

9:30/10ish- The kids pick up the playroom a little. Mostly they just need to be sure the desk is clear and there's a little free space on the floor. They bring in two chairs from the dining room that we need and I get our pile of books for that day. We aim to start by 10, but if they're playing really nicely and/or I'm really into whatever I'm reading that morning, sometimes we start a little later.

10ish- This is our school 'block' of time. I make an effort to be home for a morning school block of time at least 3x a week, but ideally 4. We start with something called Swedish Drill which is basically a more structured Simon Says. We have started school days with gross motor activities for a few years now. It's a really great way to start a school day with at least halfway decent attitudes. Then, now that Kate is doing little bits of Kindergarten work, I start trading off who I work with. First I'll do some letter games with Kate (usually while nursing Anna) while Sam independently works on his copywork. Then I do a reading and narration with Sam while Kate does something in her binder (no real structure for her there, she might write letters she knows, or draw a picture, or play a matching game with clothespins, and sometimes she just goes to play dolls). Then Sam and I go over his math lesson and he works independently on that and does a page in his cursive workbook while I read a few books to Henry and Kate. Then another reading and narration with Sam while everybody else plays or listens in. By then we're pretty much finished. Anything else we save for later in the day. We stack the schoolbooks on my desk and everybody scatters to play.

11:30ish- Once we're finished school we might have a snack, or run a quick errand (I now try to schedule all of our errands on one, non-school day, but sometimes we might need to run out after school for just one small thing). If the weather is nice we'll go outside, or just the big kids will go outside and I'll stay in with the littles. This is my time to workout and do my weekly chore for that day and sometime in there I nurse Anna. If I'm lucky I'll snag a quick shower after my workout.

12:30- Lunch. During lunch I read something else for school, or we work on French words, or they do their artist or composer study. Once they're finished eating they go clean up the toys and race me while I wash lunch dishes and clean up the school books. Racing me makes them do a better job. Some days it's like pulling teeth to get them to pick up any toys at all, but some days it happens quickly and smoothly.

1:30/2ish- The big kids are settled in the playroom with the door closed and I take Anna up for a nap. When she's down I make my lunch and sit down to eat while I read or watch a show (though tv is pretty rare for me lately). The big kids come out of the playroom to ask me questions or for help fixing something/breaking up a fight, or to tell me about a bird they saw at the feeder approximately 40000 times so 'quiet time' isn't as quiet for me as it once was, but it's a good chance to recharge.

3- If we have any other (quiet) work for school, we'll do it now. Painting or drawing in their nature journals, or sewing or paper folding are good things to do now while Anna is asleep. In nice weather the big kids will go outside (and Henry is now allowed to go too, as long as he stays on the swing set where I can see him). I read a little more, or start a little dinner prep, or fold laundry, or I go outside with them. Once or twice a week I'll put on a movie for them around now.

4- I wake Anna up from her nap and nurse her. This is when we get the keyboard out for Sam to watch a piano lesson or just to practice, but not everyday. It's pretty random and sporadic actually. I'm hoping to structure this a little more in the new year. Everybody is playing now and I'm starting to prep for the evening. Dinner prep, finishing the weekly cleaning chores, tidying up any mess I made during quiet time, prep for the next day or week of school, catching up on emails (or, at this time of year, doing some online Christmas shopping), working on a menu or grocery list, finishing bullet journal spreads or filling in our schedules if it's the end of the month, working on our budget or paying bills, just busy work. Or Anna wakes up clingy, nurses forever, and then we snuggle a bit.

4:45- Around now I really like to have a snack and a cup of tea before starting dinner. A moment of zen because the rest of the day is going to be nonstop and a little chaotic just because once 5 o'clock hits something happens and kids get crazy.

5:00- I start dinner. Most days I put a Spotify playlist on the tv and the kids are running laps around the house and having a dance party while I cook. Sometimes I play a podcast for myself, sometimes I read while I'm cooking if I'm in the middle of something super good. If I haven't folded that day's laundry yet, I often try to do it at some point while dinner is cooking. The kitchen is the best place to fold laundry lately because Anna can't reach up onto the counter to "help". I do one load of our clothes every night, so it doesn't take long at all to fold it. If I have a timer going for something that's part of dinner, I race the timer while I fold. That makes me sound super weird probably.

Sometimes when they're not running around they sit like this in the hallway next to the kitchen. 

5:45/6- We eat. Sometimes James is home, sometimes he's not. I used to try to plan dinnertime around when he would be home, but it seems to work better to just have it ready by 6 and then we either eat with him or without him. Eating later just makes bedtime a mess. 

6:15/6:30- If James is home he cleans up dinner (because he's awesome) and packs his lunch and breakfast for the next day. We keep the kids in the playroom so we can have a little time to talk to one another without constant interruption (though we still end up being interrupted a whole lot, but such is life right now). If the laundry still isn't folded I fold while we talk and he cleans up. The house is loud at this time of day. The kids are all the way wound up and I always have music on. I try to play more relaxing classical music from dinnertime on. Sometimes it works, but a lot of times it doesn't. It helps me feel calmer though, so, there's that.

6:50- Here we go. It's bedtime. The kids have had several warnings (10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes) to which they always cheerfully reply, "Okay!", but it's almost never actually okay and, "It's time to clean up and get ready for bed!" is usually met with, "Awwwww! No! Not now! We haven't had enough time to play!" (You all have just read the description of their day. Tell me they don't have enough time to play *eye roll*) Just like after lunch, sometimes clean up happens easily and quickly, sometimes it's a nightmare. Sometimes Sam and Kate are trucking along, doing great, and then Henry comes along and dumps the whole Duplo bin because he, "just needed that one piece for a minute!" Although lately Henry is starting to be a little more helpful during clean up time, a lot of evenings I take him upstairs along with Anna and he looks at books in her room while she's in her crib with books and I'm putting away the laundry.

7:15/7:30- The playroom is hopefully clean by now (we are really working hard at cleaning things up when we're finished with them, before getting new things out and they don't have many toys in the playroom to begin with so, as long as there isn't a whole lot of whining and/or goofing off, they are capable of cleaning up super quickly). Sam and Kate get their pjs on and brush their teeth and either James or I do Henry and Anna. I love the nights when James is home to help out with dinner clean up and bedtime, but it's not a given so I've gotten pretty efficient doing it all myself. If it's a bath night for the little two, I give them a bath while the big kids are finishing up downstairs. On shower nights I help Kate after she's finished in the playroom and then Sam showers after her (just needs help with his hair) or I do their showers on separate nights for my sanity's sake. The days of bathing everybody on the same night are past for now. It was too chaotic. It works better to spread them out. 

7:40ish- Ideally everybody is ready for bed by now and they've put their dirty clothes in the basket I've left in the hallway. I run downstairs and throw that in the washer and then go back up and read a few books to them in Anna's room. If James is home he takes her so she doesn't yell and climb all over everybody, or try to snatch the book out of my hand. Anna is not her best self at this time of day.

8- In bed. Henry nurses for a couple minutes (though he and I are talking about not doing this anymore after Christmas). Sam and Kate may have their reading lights on as long as they are quiet and don't stay up too late. We don't have an official "lights out" time for them, but we may need to implement one soon because Sam is starting to stay up pretty late reading some nights. After a couple minutes, I have laid Henry down and I go get Anna. If James is working super late, she's been in her crib this whole time (if she's fussy Sam will sit in there with her because she isn't always okay with being alone, and then he goes to bed once I come in). If James is home he and Anna are snuggling downstairs or in our bed. I nurse and rock her and she's usually down by 8:30.

8:30/8:45- I go downstairs to switch the laundry to the dryer and then I either sit on the couch with James, reading while he watches tv, or I just go upstairs to read in bed (and James usually follows) because I'm totally beat and want to be able to pass out right away after a chapter or two. Our evenings are not very exciting right now. James works very hard and my days (and nights) with the kids are very full. The other night we were both in bed with the lights off, half asleep already, by 9. If we're a little less sleepy we'll watch something together or play a game (I can kick James' butt in Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit, but still he challenges me to a game)

So that's our day! Or our day 3-4 days a week anyway. I've been trying to be very intentional this year to make any out of the house activities on a non-school day and lump errands in then too. If we go on a field trip or something, we'll do a little school work in the afternoon so we're doing school 4 times a week. On Thursdays, we leave at 3:30 for ballet so that shortens quiet time, but since Kate has an early class this year we're home in time to not have to rush to get dinner on the table. 3 times a month Sam and James leave after dinner on Thursdays for Cub Scouts (and if James can't get home in time, I take all 4 to Scouts, but since that ends at 8, we try to avoid that). While they're there I put the other 3 to bed and Sam creeps into their room quietly when he gets home. 

I'm really, really happy with the flow of our days lately. And by lately, I mean the past several months. It feels like we've found our groove. Not that there was anything wrong with our routines in the past, we've always been a very routine oriented family, but in the past I've felt a struggle to fit everything in and things would often slide. Usually working out, sometimes the weekly cleaning chores, often laundry. This current routine doesn't feel forced or crammed at all, but mostly things are getting done when they're supposed to. It feels good to wake up in the morning and already be able to see at least the bare bones of what the day will hold and to know that at the end of the day chores and tasks will be accomplished without ever having felt rushed. Most of the time anyway! Of course there are days where bedtime rolls around and it feels like a tornado came sweeping in while I was eating breakfast and, somehow, spit me out at 7:30 in the evening, the whole day a blur. But this that I've written up is what we strive for and what we achieve most days. I'm so grateful for our slow, quiet days. So grateful for how hard James works so that I can stay home. So grateful for our homeschooling curriculum which brings so much beauty through music, art, and literature to our days. And so, so grateful for this life I have and these people I get to do it with day in and day out.

A Want/Need/Wear/Read Christmas

I love Christmas. All of it. I love cheesy Christmas movies and I love nativity scenes. I love cookies and I love Advent wreaths. I love that God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and O Holy Night can coexist with All I Want For Christmas Is You and the Chipmunk’s Christmas Don’t Be Late. I’ve been unapologetically listening to Christmas music here and there for a couple weeks now, though we won’t decorate until after Thanksgiving. I have loved the whole Christmas season my whole life, and once I had kids my love for Christmas just exploded and I swear it grows a little more every year. The excitement and anticipation of Christmas through the eyes of kids is nothing short of magical.

Something else I love about Christmas is the gifts. Giving them and receiving them. I know that’s not really the right thing to say, but hear me out! I love thinking about things to give people. I love watching them open a gift (or just imagining them opening a card we sent!) and seeing joy on their face. I love receiving gifts. When I say I love receiving gifts, don’t misunderstand. I don’t mean that love being given big, expensive things. Or piles of stuff. I love the gift of being seen. I love knowing our name is on somebody’s Christmas card list. I love opening a gift one of my kids’ made for me (“I used pink paper to make that necklace because I know that’s one of your favorite colors!”) Heck, I love being tagged in a meme on Facebook because it reminded somebody of me. I think being seen is a gift that most people would love to receive. “I picked this out for you because I know you’ll love it.”, “I got this for you because I know you need it for work/your new hobby”, “I made these cookies for my family this week and remembered they’re your favorite so I brought you some!”, “Just wanted to say hi and I think you’re a great mom.”, “Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!” Gifts. Amazing gifts.

We want our kids to have this same view of gifts. We want them to know that the gifts of time or a kind word are just as (more even) important as the gift of a new toy. We also want them to play and explore and grow and learn and have toys that they love without feeling like we are drowning in a sea of toys. This can be such a hard balance to strike at any point in time, but especially at Christmas.

A few years ago, when Sam was 3 and Kate was 1, and we were talking about feeling ready to add a 3rd little one to our family soon, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by toys and Christmas was fast approaching. Browsing Pinterest one day, I stumbled across this Christmas list template for 4 gifts. 1 thing I want, 1 thing I need, 1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read. To me this was brilliant. Not only would it help us avoid the present overwhelm on Christmas morning, but I could see how it would greatly simplify Christmas shopping for me, having clear cut categories like this. So we tried it out, and haven’t looked back ever since. It seems to have gained some popularity in the past couple years and I am hearing about more and more families doing it. James and I even do it for our own gift exchanging now. I’ve seen some other incarnations of the template I found that include things like “1 thing to do share”, or “1 place to go.” I love those! We haven’t added those because I usually use some grandparent Christmas money for joint and/or experience gifts.

Since our first year of want/need/wear/read, our Christmas gift plan has changed a little bit, but the past 2 years have been the same and I think we’ve found our “sweet spot”. The want/need/wear/gifts come from us and the kids write to Santa asking for one special toy. Santa will also bring a new game or puzzle and something handmade, either by us or by somebody on Etsy. This works so well for us. Christmas morning is peaceful and fun, and clean up later in the day is very quick and easy. 

Gifts quickly and easily corralled post present opening.

The “want” and “read” gifts always seem to be the easiest for me and for others that I know who use these same categories. Kids are usually pretty open about things that they want and books (for me anyway!) are always so easy and fun to pick out for anybody! Sometimes “need” and “wear” can be a little trickier.

Oftentimes nobody really needs new clothes. Sometimes get them something really special (like a tutu dress for Kate or graphic t-shirts for the boys with trains or construction vehicles on them). Or we’ll go with new shoes, sunglasses, a jacket, or even something for dress up play.

In the past I’ve come up with “need” gifts that were the same for everybody across the board. Water bottles one year, umbrellas another, rain boots still another. This year is the first year that I’ve had different “need” ideas for everybody. But some “need” ideas I always have on my radar, besides those I just shared: something for a sport or activity they’re involved in (a ballet bag, a soccer ball, a piano songbook), a jewelry box, a bank or a wallet, a backpack, lunch box, crayons, a drawing pad, slippers, a blanket or quilt for their bed, hiking boots, a sleeping bag, binoculars, a compass, bike helmet. Sometimes I’m afraid the “need” gift will come across as boring, but so far it hasn’t! I think it’s important (and hard) to remember that kids are usually actually pretty easy to please. It’s easy to get the thought into our minds that they need something flashy and fancy to hold their attention, but let me tell you about the squeals of excitement we heard last year when everybody got a new pair of slippers! Slippers that they still get excited about to this day! So, if you want to try this, embrace the simple “need” gifts. Most likely they’ll be incredibly well received!

Like I said earlier, James and I do want/need/wear/read gifts for each other as well (Santa fills our stockings, but doesn’t leave gifts for us under the tree). Same as with the kids, the categories make planning and shopping so much easier, but even more than the kids, there’s something so special about both giving and receiving a “need” gift. Because with adults who are capable of meeting their own needs, you have to think “outside the box” a little bit and get them something they might not know they need. Last year James got me the gift of time to myself for my “need” gift. Bath products and coupons for things like trips out of the house by myself (to run errands or to just grab a cup of coffee). Things that yes I do need, but things that I’m not good at just doing for myself or asking for. My “need” gift from James always makes me feel so seen and so cared for.

I know that Christmas can be so overwhelming for a lot of different reasons, but a gift giving template like this one can do a lot towards simplifying not only Christmas morning, but also the aftermath! I am so thankful that I found this idea several years ago. And I am so excited that Christmas time has rolled around again! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play a Pentatonix Christmas album. Again.