I love Christmas. All of it. I love cheesy Christmas movies and I love nativity scenes. I love cookies and I love Advent wreaths. I love that God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and O Holy Night can coexist with All I Want For Christmas Is You and the Chipmunk’s Christmas Don’t Be Late. I’ve been unapologetically listening to Christmas music here and there for a couple weeks now, though we won’t decorate until after Thanksgiving. I have loved the whole Christmas season my whole life, and once I had kids my love for Christmas just exploded and I swear it grows a little more every year. The excitement and anticipation of Christmas through the eyes of kids is nothing short of magical.
Something else I love about Christmas is the gifts. Giving them and receiving them. I know that’s not really the right thing to say, but hear me out! I love thinking about things to give people. I love watching them open a gift (or just imagining them opening a card we sent!) and seeing joy on their face. I love receiving gifts. When I say I love receiving gifts, don’t misunderstand. I don’t mean that love being given big, expensive things. Or piles of stuff. I love the gift of being seen. I love knowing our name is on somebody’s Christmas card list. I love opening a gift one of my kids’ made for me (“I used pink paper to make that necklace because I know that’s one of your favorite colors!”) Heck, I love being tagged in a meme on Facebook because it reminded somebody of me. I think being seen is a gift that most people would love to receive. “I picked this out for you because I know you’ll love it.”, “I got this for you because I know you need it for work/your new hobby”, “I made these cookies for my family this week and remembered they’re your favorite so I brought you some!”, “Just wanted to say hi and I think you’re a great mom.”, “Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!” Gifts. Amazing gifts.
We want our kids to have this same view of gifts. We want them to know that the gifts of time or a kind word are just as (more even) important as the gift of a new toy. We also want them to play and explore and grow and learn and have toys that they love without feeling like we are drowning in a sea of toys. This can be such a hard balance to strike at any point in time, but especially at Christmas.
A few years ago, when Sam was 3 and Kate was 1, and we were talking about feeling ready to add a 3rd little one to our family soon, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by toys and Christmas was fast approaching. Browsing Pinterest one day, I stumbled across this Christmas list template for 4 gifts. 1 thing I want, 1 thing I need, 1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read. To me this was brilliant. Not only would it help us avoid the present overwhelm on Christmas morning, but I could see how it would greatly simplify Christmas shopping for me, having clear cut categories like this. So we tried it out, and haven’t looked back ever since. It seems to have gained some popularity in the past couple years and I am hearing about more and more families doing it. James and I even do it for our own gift exchanging now. I’ve seen some other incarnations of the template I found that include things like “1 thing to do share”, or “1 place to go.” I love those! We haven’t added those because I usually use some grandparent Christmas money for joint and/or experience gifts.
Since our first year of want/need/wear/read, our Christmas gift plan has changed a little bit, but the past 2 years have been the same and I think we’ve found our “sweet spot”. The want/need/wear/gifts come from us and the kids write to Santa asking for one special toy. Santa will also bring a new game or puzzle and something handmade, either by us or by somebody on Etsy. This works so well for us. Christmas morning is peaceful and fun, and clean up later in the day is very quick and easy.
Gifts quickly and easily corralled post present opening.
The “want” and “read” gifts always seem to be the easiest for me and for others that I know who use these same categories. Kids are usually pretty open about things that they want and books (for me anyway!) are always so easy and fun to pick out for anybody! Sometimes “need” and “wear” can be a little trickier.
Oftentimes nobody really needs new clothes. Sometimes get them something really special (like a tutu dress for Kate or graphic t-shirts for the boys with trains or construction vehicles on them). Or we’ll go with new shoes, sunglasses, a jacket, or even something for dress up play.
In the past I’ve come up with “need” gifts that were the same for everybody across the board. Water bottles one year, umbrellas another, rain boots still another. This year is the first year that I’ve had different “need” ideas for everybody. But some “need” ideas I always have on my radar, besides those I just shared: something for a sport or activity they’re involved in (a ballet bag, a soccer ball, a piano songbook), a jewelry box, a bank or a wallet, a backpack, lunch box, crayons, a drawing pad, slippers, a blanket or quilt for their bed, hiking boots, a sleeping bag, binoculars, a compass, bike helmet. Sometimes I’m afraid the “need” gift will come across as boring, but so far it hasn’t! I think it’s important (and hard) to remember that kids are usually actually pretty easy to please. It’s easy to get the thought into our minds that they need something flashy and fancy to hold their attention, but let me tell you about the squeals of excitement we heard last year when everybody got a new pair of slippers! Slippers that they still get excited about to this day! So, if you want to try this, embrace the simple “need” gifts. Most likely they’ll be incredibly well received!
Like I said earlier, James and I do want/need/wear/read gifts for each other as well (Santa fills our stockings, but doesn’t leave gifts for us under the tree). Same as with the kids, the categories make planning and shopping so much easier, but even more than the kids, there’s something so special about both giving and receiving a “need” gift. Because with adults who are capable of meeting their own needs, you have to think “outside the box” a little bit and get them something they might not know they need. Last year James got me the gift of time to myself for my “need” gift. Bath products and coupons for things like trips out of the house by myself (to run errands or to just grab a cup of coffee). Things that yes I do need, but things that I’m not good at just doing for myself or asking for. My “need” gift from James always makes me feel so seen and so cared for.
I know that Christmas can be so overwhelming for a lot of different reasons, but a gift giving template like this one can do a lot towards simplifying not only Christmas morning, but also the aftermath! I am so thankful that I found this idea several years ago. And I am so excited that Christmas time has rolled around again! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play a Pentatonix Christmas album. Again.
Like I said earlier, James and I do want/need/wear/read gifts for each other as well (Santa fills our stockings, but doesn’t leave gifts for us under the tree). Same as with the kids, the categories make planning and shopping so much easier, but even more than the kids, there’s something so special about both giving and receiving a “need” gift. Because with adults who are capable of meeting their own needs, you have to think “outside the box” a little bit and get them something they might not know they need. Last year James got me the gift of time to myself for my “need” gift. Bath products and coupons for things like trips out of the house by myself (to run errands or to just grab a cup of coffee). Things that yes I do need, but things that I’m not good at just doing for myself or asking for. My “need” gift from James always makes me feel so seen and so cared for.
I know that Christmas can be so overwhelming for a lot of different reasons, but a gift giving template like this one can do a lot towards simplifying not only Christmas morning, but also the aftermath! I am so thankful that I found this idea several years ago. And I am so excited that Christmas time has rolled around again! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play a Pentatonix Christmas album. Again.
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