Quiet rainy day...

There's something about a rainy Sunday. Especially a rainy Sunday following a Saturday night where I tossed and turned all night (for no real reason, just wasn't feeling so great) There's just a general feeling of laziness, and a disregard to the clock. I just looked at the clock for the first time a few minutes ago, and was shocked to see how late in the day its gotten!

I've been arguing with myself about whether or not I should feel guilty for a day like this. And really, yesterday was a day like this too (although we did run to the commissary) Should I be doing the dishes that are in the sink? Should I be making the bed? Dusting? Cooking something? Baking something? But the more I argue with myself, the more I realize I'm just being ridiculous. Is anybody judging me for enjoying a lazy weekend with my husband? I would hope not. And if they are, there's isn't an opinion I care about. My husband works hard all week doing his job. And I work hard all week doing mine. And this week was especially rough, what with him being sick and me substituting some ballet classes. We deserve days like this. At least I think we do anyway...

Sometimes, especially on days like these, I stop and look at James and I'm completely overcome with a feeling of comfort, safety, and happiness. Our dating relationship was always uncertain. When will I see you again? How long will you stay? Will you be available by phone this week? And now, (all of a sudden it seems), here we are. Its hard to believe that we've made it to this point. Now, I do know that, with him being a Marine and all, that uncertainty will never truly go away. But there's something so incredibly comforting about that fact that now, we're living in OUR apartment. Things are no longer 'mine' or 'his' they're just 'ours' I don't even know how much sense I'm making right now. I'm having trouble putting words to the exact feeling I have. The words I used before: 'comfort' 'safety' 'happiness' don't quite cover it. But anyway, I'll just put it this way. After 2 years of sporadic visits and tearful goodbyes, its incredibly nice to be able to spend lazy weekends together like this. Without the old nagging feeling of needing to ACCOMPLISH something before Monday rolled around. I used to try and fill our weekends with EVERYTHING I possibly could because I knew when the weekend was over he'd be gone and who knew when I'd see him again. It's incredibly calming to be able to just enjoy a weekend, with no looming deadline to meet...

Now my rambling could probably also be called stalling because after all that about having a lazy rainy Sunday, and deserving it, I do actually need to throw in a couple loads of laundry before we leave for the movie theater. I guess just a little work on a lazy day never killed anybody...